i think my main resolution is to come to some sort of internal conclusion with myself, that being me is o.k.
iβve spent a considerably sized amount of my time on earth (a mere 16 years) picking all the facets of myself apart; why am i this way? what is the cause of my action and reaction? etc.
i would like to practice some gratitude surrounding the fact that through hardships and self curated issues i am me. i am the beautiful and flawed by-product of every stupid decision ive made and maybe im not perfect in my own vision, and yet i am, nevertheless.
i do not have to perfectly fit this strange list of categories to be a cool person, to be a good person.
and then perhaps my second resolution is to find a passion.
over the last few years of pulling myself out of slumps i seem to have lost any passions or sense of purpos. i have this strange deflated sort of career focus, but no hobbies. i work and i see my friends sometimes. i drink and i smoke, but i do not want to become what i have seen too many of my beautiful friends become. i need a silly hobby. maybe pottery, or cake decoration. something to distract me from the nine pills i take each morning just to keep me alive.
goodnight and happy new year.