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Iāve had this infamous volume Incest: From a Journal of Love: The Unexpurgated Diary of AnaĆÆs Nin, for years; I honestly just bought it because of the provocative title and because I had heard of her but was unfamiliar with her or her work (sub-rec: finally reading the books you actually own that have been sitting on the shelf).
The concept of the narratives we create about our own lives has been on my mind lately as I write a narrative of my own; I was reminded of Nin when thinking about what Gore Vidal wrote (and didnāt write!) about her in his memoir, Palimpsest.
After reading interviews with her + and articles about her life and her approach to publishing her journals (linked)āand seeing myself in her ways of coping, processing, and engaging with the worldāIām very excited to interrupt my own languorous navel-gazing reflection during my protracted period of post-holiday down-time and delve into hers/become too intimately acquainted with her delusional girl persona. The title pretty much exactly shows what to expect here, so itās probably going to be an uncomfortable, gut-wrenching and painful read, to say the least, but it should be illuminatingā¦ pray for my stomach and my heart but itās a great place to start
Jan 9, 2025
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Miss AnaĆÆs Nin really serves it to us hot in her published journals. doesnāt hold back. Iām reading one now that I think her estate waited to publish after everyone involved was dead and honey I see why. I need to know what her sign was but I refuse to learn until I finish this book. I wish I could read the journals of people I know
Jan 25, 2024
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The Diary of AnaĆÆs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934
Mar 11, 2024
Just go this book, Nin is my favorite writer. Delta Venus erotica was my first book I read from her. Today I got her diary from the twenties, volume 2, to be exact. I didnāt know but there was different volumes, which are different eras of her life being written by her. I took a picture of the library checkout because itās from my university library and it hasnāt been checked out since 2004. (Broke the streak).
Feb 6, 2024
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āLife shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.ā
ā AnaĆÆs Nin
This is uncharacteristically raw and personal, even for me, and pretty heavy! I know many of you have seen me posting through it and I feel safe to talk about it openly now that Iāve safely landed at the start of my new life. Itās honestly even a little bit embarrassing but I think itās important to share.
Iāve never publicly mentioned it on here, but I have a husband; as of Friday, weād have been together for 11 years, and weāve been married for 3 years as of 2/22. I realize now that I wanted to explore what I looked like outside of my relationship with him because I had lost that. This is why PI.FYI has been so meaningful to me as a space to express myself and connect with peopleāto rediscover my voice.
I had been living a lie this entire time, to others but worst of all to myself. Heās been verbally and emotionally abusive, physically but without touching me, to the point that every day I spent with him I was in danger. Iāve been shrinking myself and walking on eggshells to avoid making him insecure and provoking his casual put-downs and fits of rage, while hanging on for dear life to the threads of good I could see.
Iāve wanted so badly to leave, more than anything, but I felt like there was no way out and that this was just something I would need to endure indefinitelyābut someone who is so very dear to me helped me see that I have wings to fly, not by acting as my savior but by reminding me of my own power. The emotional safety they built and the gentle care they showed me made me feel like I could open up to them. With their encouragement I was brave enough to tell the truth to my friends, my family, my boss, and they have received me with warm, loving and open arms and rallied to support and protect me. The financial andĀ logistical aspects were the most intimidating to me and itās going to be tough for a while but Iām going to be better than okay!
Now Iām opening up to you. This isnāt the only abuse Iāve suffered in my life, and my old therapist told me she believed it was my mission to share my strength and light with others to inspire them and show them that change is possible.
I hope that by sharing this, I can reach even just one person who is going through something similar and show that they are not alone, and they are not weak. People with certain backgrounds may be more vulnerable to abuse, but it can happen to anyone. It thrives in darkness, shame, and isolationāand breaking that silence is the first step toward freedom.
Leaving is the scariest thing I have ever done but I have so many angels around me, and I am endlessly grateful. Thank you for being here with me š
Mar 16, 2025
My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebodyābe it a relative or one of my best friendsāwas to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too š
Feb 23, 2025
Schedule sent my resignation email for the morning, effective immediately ā
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Feb 27, 2025