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and it’s not because i feel superior to others by keeping a prized possession to myself but because i prize it enough to preserve its experience to only be mine when so much of what i do is shared?

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I love sharing the process of how I do what I do because 18 year old me would have killed to get a peak behind the curtain.
Mar 9, 2024
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i've been posponing so many movies and tv shows on my watchlist that i ended up with 4 digits so i said fuck it. i just watch whatever, no matter my mood, or being made by that director, or seing a new tiktok about that show. so what it doesn't fit with "the vibe" of what i just watched 5 minutes ago? the satisfaction of experiencing a new idea, portrayed in a different way, said by a new voice (new to me at least) it really makes my day. i know i am not saying anything new to you: that you should enjoy every new piece of art because it's art; but i say it coming from a place where i used to spend all my time concentrating on developing my own unique taste and ended up sabotaging my overall experince with cinema and art in general, which made me more resentful with new things, and just made me overall sad for the way i ended up watching movies. i think the most important think i learned is no matter what watch things with an open mind. And no mater what remind yourself to do that, remind your friends to do that, remind it to strangers, remind it to everyone. maybe i am not really touching anyone with this post but i know how important it was for me to see a reassuring message like this in my past. it didn't change the way i tought at the time but it stuck with me. maybe no one will see this post and that's ok beacuse i wrote it for me.
Jan 27, 2025
no shameful feelings, only pure pride and admiration for bringing something new into the world, however trivial or deep you intended it to be.

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can’t stand meta and the monopoly they are trying to establish using profits made from our data and i feel like everyone hates me on there youtube shorts pi and texting are good enough
1) i don’t need to be on the lookout for bugs. not my problem 2) it almost is like replicating the feeling of the womb? 3) i am just constantly so overstimulated so like instead having to Seek stimulation (via the shower water, reaching around for my shampoo and stuff) is really nice