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santa monica pier around 0300 in the morning, some while before the fires. when i lived at the base of topanga canyon near ventura blvd i would always drive through the canyons to malibu then down to santa monica and just sit by the pier when my insomnia would act up. in hindsight it probably wasn’t the smartest to do alone (i honestly can’t think of a valuable enough defense- maybe moods?) i know with the fires and all it wont ever be the same and i miss it so so much already.
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Jan 25, 2025

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every time i drive to north hollywood and take coldwater so i can brood at the mulholland overlook, there are several massive, lighted, blinking signs that say, ā€œWATER MAIN PROJECT. EXTREME DELAYS. USE ANOTHER ROUTE.ā€ the haters and losers reeeeaaaaaallly don’t want me to sit on top of my car and vape (because you're not allowed to smoke out there; wildfires) and listen to elliott smith and ponder and yearn and contemplate and draw conclusions and create paradigms and perspectives and viewpoints. šŸ˜Ž i also want to point out that i’ve never hit these fabled ā€extreme delaysā€ taking the canyon, and then i don’t have to drive the 101, which is infinitely less interesting and sparkly. i guess it says something about me and my choices that i’ll take a road iā€˜m warned possesses nothing but delays and trouble for me if it means i get to see something sublimely beautiful along the way. i wonder how many of those people down there are trying to quit vaping. i wonder how many love christopher guest movies. i wonder how many ignore warning signs too ā›”ļø
Jan 25, 2024
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Ojai, Ventura, Santa Barbara, Santa Ynez, Solvang, Buelton, Los Olivos, Madonna Inn, Splash Cafe, Paso Robles, the tesla supercharger station, Big Sur, Deetjen's, Monterey, Santa Cruz, the redwoods, Palo Alto, Apple HQ, SF the best city in America, a Sausalito hotel, Marin, Muir forest, Muir Beach, the Pelican Inn, Stinson Beach.
Oct 30, 2023
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and waking up by the ocean to a thick fog morning. one of my favorite parts of my road trip, partly because it felt like we were getting away with something big ($1k fine if you’re caught sleeping at a pull off) and partly because it was only the 3rd of 16 nights car camping up the coast so the novelty hadn’t worn off quite yet.
Dec 26, 2024

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i looove looking at peopleā€˜s notebooks and journals all scribbled out and lived in. i like buy a million notebooks and always think i’ll use them but really they’re just empty and stacked up in my closet. like have you seen some of these bullet journals and how artistic the formatting and pretty pictures and writing are?? it’s so creative, i think it’s hard for me to get things out of my brain and to like convey them onto or into some sort of material. my friend has the most beautiful writing i’ve ever seen and puts all of her thoughts into a journal and she thinks it’s completely normal whereas i think it’s something absolutely fantastic! it’s not anything less than extraordinary to me, i admire it terribly. i don’t know if it’s my attention-deficit or my bp-2 but the follow through is the hardest part for me. i know there’s definitely some low-confidence and accountability involved on my end that get in the way but that executive dysfunction just does me in. thank goodness for my people pleasing ways, i rarely have issues doing things if it’s for others, i barely think twice, like no questions asked, i just genuinely want to make everyone happy. i’m also really bad at establishing my own boundaries lol. but anyway!! journals and pretty writing and formatting, i love them so much.šŖš‘‚āœæ
Jan 27, 2025
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it’s wet and hot and sometimes when the light shines through the window it creates mesmerizing ripples. i also have a disco ball planter in here that i definitely don’t hate. thank goodness there’s natural sunlight in this bathroom, i’ve lived in so many places without it and it feels almost like a luxury now✿ also there’s a shelf i rest my head back on that my cats like to lay on
Jan 27, 2025