a freeloader who doesnāt do anything to help out around the house but pays their dues by you giving them belly rubs or going āpspspspspsā
a fair trade
they are cute and you spoil them for being alive and eating your finances
sniffle my dog chewed all the cornices in our house when he was a puppy, the damage is still there but heās still adorable and always gets extra treats.
100/10 good boy
It would probably be cool to be a well-loved cat or dog. Have a nice human that brings you healthy meals, letās you sleep in their bed, plays with you, happy to see you, donāt have to pay rent, or work, or hunt, doesnāt yell at you.
tried reading dante alighieriās inferno. key emphasis on tried. i got bored and realised a story written in poem form is not my typa beat.
i tried because it seemed like what all the indie hipsters who are well versed would read, and that i would look cool and nicheābut it just cost me $25.
i prefer crazy detailed paragraphs rather than a line by line story.
anyways
saying āiām sickā when youāre sick is boring.
instead, here are some more funky fresh and cool ways to disclose that your immune system has been highjacked (itās time to revive these sayings from the dead!):
āi am indisposedā
āi am taken illā
āi am feeling out of sortsā
āi am suffering from a bilious attackā
āi have been seized by an agueā
āi am afflicted with a malaiseā
āi have taken to my bedā
āthe vapours have overcome meā
āi have a touch of the influenzaā
āthe rheumatism plagues meā
āi am laid low with a feverā
āi am afflicted with a troublesome ailmentā
youāre welcome
