getting rid of anything with a face has always made me feel profoundly guilty. the other day i was taking out the trash at work and saw someone's abandoned toy pig suffocating in the bag. i tried to ignore him but i felt a responsibility for his life so i carefully maneuvered my arm through all the half-empty coffee cups and took him out, then put him in the back room.. next to a toy dog i'd also fished out of the garbage a few weeks ago..
naturally i've been unable to part with every stuffed animal i've ever had. for some reason, dolls and other similar toys have been easier for me to part with over the years, but something about getting rid of a plushie of any kind hurts my soul. i can't even donate them to the thrift.. i just envision their little button eyes staring at me trying to understand why i don't want them anymore.. them collecting dust overnight on the shelf as nobody picks them up day after day.. and then what if they end up in a landfill after that!!!
the one i'd like to let go of the most is this stuffed pink manatee with soulless eyes that someone i'm no longer friends with gave me during the worst year of my life. her name is the lighthouse (2019) because that was my favorite movie of that year and i do not think i was sober when i received her. since she dredges up bad memories, i keep trying to put her in my little donation box but i can't do it. i feel so bad. they designed her with these empty half-lidded eyes for some reason and she looks like she's been through enough already.
i've been trying to find some sort of charity/toy drive/women's shelter situation that'll take all these toys but there aren't any local to me.. i hope they find a home someday