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I think i had an unusually adventurous and fairly gender neutral upbringing

and I feel lucky about that; it made me who I am today! But as an adult woman I can definitely relate and I imagine what it would be like to feel that sense of freedom from being perceived as a woman and the societal expectations that come with that. Sylvia Plath said it best in her journals: “Yes, my consuming desire is to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, barroom regulars—to be a part of a scene, anonymous, listening, recording—all this is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always supposedly in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to seduce them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yes, God, I want to talk to everybody as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night...” I do think though that it’s fruitless to fixate on these things, imagining the grass to be greener on the other side and essentially wishing you could have grown up and lived as another person, because 1 it’s not possible 2 the life you imagine has so many downsides to it too that you can’t even imagine not having experienced itself and 3 if you were a different person then the You you are now wouldn’t exist, and that would be a shame! I also think men are having a tough time now and many of them are probably just as neurotic, inhibited, and fearful as women. Obviously people are free to reject these notions and live life as whoever they want, and I respect and appreciate those who choose to do this, but I’m not interested in doing that for myself. Instead, I challenge the boundaries of what it means to be a woman in the ways that I can, which feels like the right choice for me!

@taterhole

Jun 28, 2024

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The performance of boyhood

i really also think about how much boys are taught ways to perform masculinity & how it is legitimised through tangible things like building a career etc but with women i find that from a young age our identity, behaviours, & thoughts are always spoken about in relation to other people/things — gender roles within the family, how we’re perceived by men, our friendships with other women, our relationships with material things etc etc — and this shows up in the labels that women are often given too! so and so is someone’s daughter, girlfriend, wife, mother etc etc. i envy the freedom of boyhood so much, the freedom to just be (this is not to discount the toxicity of traditional masculinity, i just think that boys are still afforded more “play” and therefore have more opportunities to develop their sense of self). maybe i am also biased because of how i’ve grown up & whatnot but i never really understood what it meant to quote unquote be a woman or perform femininity. i only saw this modelled within my nurturing friendships with women as i’ve gotten older but when i was younger, in church it was always “ok well don’t do this or that because x y z will happen to men if you do” or within my extended family it was often “are you seeing anyone? when are you having kids”. damn what happened to asking about how i’m doing or what my dreams are!!! long rant sorry !! but that’s my long winded way of saying “i feel you” haha

@addycyl

Jun 28, 2024

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I’ve felt this too

thank you for being vulnerable. but yeah, as a cis woman, boyhood always made me wistful in a way that i couldn’t really place. i am a woman and am comfy with that. personally, girlhood and womanhood are an important part of my artistic vision and practice as that experience has its own lessons and experiences that i wouldn’t trade for the world. however, i think the (what seemed to me when i was little) lack of societal pressure from the helicopter of culture for boys was something i was for sure envious of. as i grew up, i realized men and boys have plenty of their own societal pressures to reject or succumb to. i have two younger brothers and the novelty of boyhood sort of wore off for me as i watch them grow up. but there’s still a piece of young me that longs for the potential of earnestness in young male friendships and adventure. i think it would also be cool to walk around at night with headphones on in a lot of places.

@deardoveswings

Jun 28, 2024

Top Recs from @gawby

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A SMALL SCREEN IN YOUR KITCHEN

I grew up with a small TV in our kitchen and thought the added element of visual entertainment made kitchen activities better than they might have been otherwise. I use an iPad these days with a stand that I can move around as well as an adhesive wall mount. It makes dish washing and cooking a thousand times more bearable even if I’m not paying as much attention to what’s on the screen. There’s also something really cozy about it being small.

@gawby

Apr 14, 2025

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reading books that your grandparents (+) owned

It’s a way to transcend time and to be connected to people in your family you feel you might not easily relate to because of the generational divide, especially if they’ve passed. It’s a look into their genuine interests and personality, especially if they’ve annotated in the margins. The ability to do this is valuable if you can. I think it builds or strengthens empathy, and gives you a stronger foundation for appreciating your family history. Not to mention you’ll likely get an interesting reading experience out of it. The (+) is for great-grandparents and beyond.

@gawby

Dec 18, 2024

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Morning Light by locust

everyone i’ve recommended this to has thanked me. listen in full. no track is worth skipping on this one. both lyrically and sonically a work of genius.

@gawby

Nov 7, 2024