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my favourite film. PENDA'S FEN is a british written-for-tv movie, directed by alan clarke and written by david rudkin. it's about a boy named stephen, the son of the local vicar, who feels inadequate within his own conservative worldviews until he, through very evocative, esoteric and frankly quite scary dreams, discovers he's queer, and that's when his whole world (and ideals) start to change. the film deals with identity, nationality, queerness, capitalism and faith. i truly see it a perfect movie, even considering the very small budget and made-for-tv constraints. i think it makes it even grater. “stephen, be secret, child, be strange, dark, true, impure and dissonant. cherish our flame. our dawn shall come.”
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Feb 5, 2025

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British coming of age film set in a grimy bathhouse. A cautionary tale about being obsessed with a really hot girl who’s older than you. Beautiful, unsettling and so underrated. David Lynch said in an interview in 1982: “there's never been a colour movie I've freaked out over except one, this thing called Deep End“
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This is one of my favorite films in terms of aesthetics. One of the final scenes is the epitome of what I want my future work to emulate. It’s really hard to articulate what it is about this film that I love, but here are some key words: bathhouse, bright and seedy colors, beautiful woman, adolescence, a stunning scene with the Can soundtrack “Mother Sky,” angst, water, sex.
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Juliet of The Spirits (1965), Federico Fellini House (1977), Nobuhiko Obayashi Possession (1981), Andrzej Żuławski The Night of The Hunter (1955), Charles Laughton 3 Women (1977), Robert Altman Meshes of The Afternoon (1943), Maya Deren. The Inauguration of the Pleasure Dome (1954) and Lucifer Rising (1972), Kenneth Anger. Also- his complete Magick Lantern Cycle. Dreams (1990), Akira Kurosawa Mirror (1975) and Stalker (1979), Andrei Tarkovsky Bell, Book, and Candle (1958), Richard Quine Chess of The Wind (1976), Mohammad Reza Aslani Body Double (1984), Brian De Palma Klute (1971) and The Parallax View (1974), Alan J. Pakula Nine to Five (1980), Colin Higgins
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what is happening to people? is everybody taking dumb bitch juice? why is chatgpt such a big thing in peoples lives right now? what happened to curiosity, eagerness to learn and the joy of figuring out the answers for youself? help!!!!!
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and seeing it all!
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