The only definitive feature of being goth is liking goth music and the only definitive feature of goth music is being music goths like. I went to a goth wedding this past Halloween and they hit us with a tasteful and crowd pleasing range including the Cramps, the Cure, Depeche Mode, and the Monster Mash. Maybe the only other relevant component of being goth is arguing about what music is and isn’t goth. It’s built-in conversation to engage new friends at the gay bar‘s goth night you bravely attend alone.
A couple years into your goth conversion and your clothes have an effortless harmony (they all match), you stand a couple inches taller (big shoes), and you know the delirious joy of a dark smoke filled room packed with people singing and dancing and kissing and doing erotic aerial hoop performances to Boys Don’t Cry at 2 in the morning.