🕯️
My world is so dark; it always has been; however, this new kind of blackness is overwhelming. My flame was once so bright it stood in opposition to the black mass. At least I like to think of it that way; in reality, it was light from a candle dancing for an audience of tall trees in a dark forest. That way of wandering life was tolerable, almost enjoyable. Now I’m lost with no direction, watching my little flame dwindle. My world, which I’ve attempted to explore and know, is becoming more and more strange as my vision suffers. I can’t feel my way around the forest; my fingertips don’t recognize the barks of my neighbors. My world is so dark, and it’s only getting darker. I’d be sure to keep searching. Searching for something I may never find.
-Me
Feb 12, 2025
Related Recs
I’ve spent the whole morning looking for a lost key that would open all the doors. It was like waking up small cuts in the throat, like searching for the past and remembering the pain. Another thing crossed off the list, but was it worth coming back home? Will it help to bang your head against the doors?
What we do is shameful, it’s shameful to neglect what we have around
Walking back home, I unplugged myself and looked up at the sky. It was 8:34 PM and there were a few stars. I realized the trap - dispersion. I don’t know how long it’s been since I last looked up at the sky - usually, we gaze blankly down, the deepest point of a screen.
Jan 29, 2025
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⛪
With all the quick motions and shocking happenings of the world, I've been taking refuge in the faith I was raised with. Not with a reactionary frame of mind, but searching for the empathetic section of the world I knew when I was younger. Before, I learned about the expansive evils of the world and the contradictory nature of mainstream Christianity and, in extension, Catholicism. I've left the church, but I still visit from time to time, mentally. The teachings of love and justice have given me solace in these trying times. As some rights are being stripped and opportunities limited, my first reaction has been to pray for the people affected. Sympathy is hardwired in my bones, but it's new that I physically get on my knees to recite and conjure a prayer. I've been told I'm having a "come to God" moment, but honestly, I feel I'm falling in love with an idealistic version of Catholicism. Something I can defer to when the logical and the skeptical sections of my mind are overworked with anguish. I feel it couldn't only be me feeling these emotions.
Anyone else?
Jan 28, 2025
💍
Foolishly in love with my self-loathing, we’ve been married for years now. Although history proves I've been loyal, I can’t lie; my eyes are wandering. Moving on and self-acceptance have been looking real good recently. I think it's the promise they hold. I’ve inched towards them slowly, but I’m a married man. Leaving something that’s been with me for so long now is very daunting. To leave is to break trust and commitment. Who's lain in bed with me all these years, who's kept me company after dark? How could I dare leave my loyal partner? How foolish of me.
-Me
Feb 12, 2025
Just finished writing your heart out? Don’t want to close your book? Not satisfied with your entry? Take some time to sketch something on the margin or even the next page. It can be related to your passage or just a doodle. Use the drawing time to make sense of the emotions you just expressed. I promise it's very mediative.
Apr 2, 2025