i honestly haven’t really put real hard thoughts to this but the other night at the porter robinson show, he had this transition where the screen asked questions such as “do you remember what your baby teeth felt like” and “when was the last time you hugged your mom,” and i stood there realizing i don’t really experience nostalgia in that sense, and i don’t really process the passing of time in that sense, but it did make me realize i‘m way, way older now
besides the obvious things such as noticing your parents getting older, i think this year i finally felt it for real. whether it‘s younger friends pointing out that i‘m 25 and their tone just sounded like they’re scared of that number (haha), or me catching up with my older friends and they are telling me about their plans and wishes about turning 30
it’s the act of having to be responsible for yourself, really really having to do that this time, and having to plan ahead despite i’ve always just lived life as it stands—and how much i’m struggling to do it. how frustrating it is to face the problems i’ve been running away from and still having no idea how to fix them, but just knowing that i’ll have to, that really feels like growing up
anyway this is too long✌🏼
