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When I was little and we would drive back from a religious event for a god I didn't believe in, the car tense in ways that you only understand if you know too much about your parents and they know nothing about each other or you, my little sister asleep in the back next to me, I'd watch the moon. It was comforting finding her shining up there. So far away from my small life, so cold, so bright.
And then when I was a bit older, fully embroiled in my Percy Jackson obsession, I'd picture Artemis up there as the moon, bounding along by, always watching over me. I'd think of Thalia and the other Huntresses and pledge to myself never to sacrifice myself for a man after seeing what they could do to the women I knew. I'd walk home from swim practice or be back in my parents car, talking to Artemis in my head, not believing she was actually there, but needing someone who was listening.
In college, going home late from a friend's apartment, or just a late evening in the lab, I'd walk with one earbud in pepper spray in hand, alert. But I'd always pause to look at the moon, feeling grateful, protected against all reason in the moonlight. My constantly changing consistent friend.
And now I don't see her as much, rarely outside at night undistracted. I pause every time I do though. A silent reminder of how small I really am in the face of everything. Not alarming but soothing somehow. I'm doing my best, I don't have to be perfect. She will always be there to watch me go on.
Feb 16, 2025
Related Recs
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āDonāt trust the moon, Sheās always changing.ā
thatās what i was told as a child.Ā
iāve grown older with false pretenses of an evil moon.
I donāt believe it anymore
I love the moon.
I fell in love with the moon.
I wanted to be the moon.Ā
Far away, able to vanish.
I couldnāt be the moon so I found someone to be it for me.
Over time iāve realized iām not the sun or the moon.
Iām some far out dwarf planet yet to be discovered
I tried to be the sun.
When I was the sun no one cared
I shined bright
I shined and gave my light to anyone who asked
I made everyone around me happy at my own expenseĀ
Eventually a solar eclipse happened.
My light was blacked outĀ
covered by his
he didnāt mean to though?
i went to my room the other day and i found a shoebox
the shoebox I put all the shit you gave me in
The locket you gave me when I turned 16
The photo of us on our first date at that shitty gas station.
i just drove by that gas station, they want $4 a gallon.
the high heels you bought me on my 17th birthday
the sparkly ones
where you said they didnāt sparkle as bright as my smile
how stupid was I to believe you
on my 18th birthday you gave me the best gift of all.
money.
you owed me a lot more than you gave me.Ā
you only wanted me for money and sex.Ā
i caught on quickly.
I stayed though.Ā
You dimmed my light.Ā
caused a solar eclipse.
the whole time I was thankful
it was just me
only one eclipse.
you were with other women.
i thought only 2 planets could overlap.
clearly i failed science.
you told me the sun was your favorite
so i morphed and changed to be the sun for you
and when i became the sun
you put out my light
iāve realized that i probably shouldāve listening to my childhood warning.
the moons strange.
different shapes and sizesĀ
you change how you look
you buzz your hair
you shave your mustache
it doesnāt matter
youāre still the moon
thatās bullshit warning was false
donāt trust the moon
he never changes.
3d ago
Orion and I share a bond unlike any other constellationāa quiet understanding woven through the years, a celestial companion who has watched me grow
I first met Orion at summer camp, lying on a hammock beneath the starry sky. I didnāt know its name then, I was only stargazing, thinking about the vastness of the cosmos. but something about those three stars, perfectly aligned, lingered in my mind
then it followed me home. night after night, I found it outside my bedroom window, hovering above my bed, where I laid my head to rest. it became part of my ritualābefore sleep, Iād wave to Orion like an old friend, and then we kissed each other goodnight. even when the it was cloudy, I still searched for it, hoping for a flicker of Betelgeuse to break through the darkness
I even got it tattooed on me. now etched into me like a compass pointing to my past. itās a reminder of where Iāve been, of late-night whispers to the sky, of restless dreams and youthful longing. a constellation turned talisman, marking the distance I have traveled
maybe one day, in a place far from home, another constellation will find me. perphaps I will create a new bond, and it will guide me in ways Orion once did
for now Iām still here, patiently waiting for senior year to end and waiting for a new chapter of my life to begin, and most likely there will be a new constellation to guide me throughout my journeyā¦
Feb 27, 2025
hey hey!!!!!! iām so glad youre here! i went on another run tonight. let me tell you about it. my knee hurts, i tweaked it last night, but i started nice and steady. i like to run at night, often late, so a 1 am run is not out of the ordinary for me.
i usually take a road by my house that leads out of town until the streetlights stop. if itās not yet sunset, iāll go another mile or so along the road before turning back at nightfall. on my lucky days, the sky paints itself rosy, and wisps of clouds turn alight with oranges and reds. that, juxtaposed against the brightest blue imaginable makes for a pretty picture to distract myself from whatever pain boils in whatever part of my body. i have endometriosis, so oftentimes when i work out, iāll cramp in ways that would humble a god.
so i enjoy watching the sun tuck itself into the ground. my favorite part is undoubtedly the brilliant magenta color that only comes if the clouds are at just the right elevation. after the sun drops to wherever itās needed next, and the rest of the skyās blues deepen, ultimately saturating the ochre hues right along the horizon, i turn around. showās over, i gotta get home.
but, when iām out past 11, and the sky is clear, the farthest point is where i stop and turn my head to the heavens.
iām lucky to live on the edge of a national park and in close proximity to total darkness. the stars here are fantastic. many nights, iāll wander a little off the road and lay down to stargaze. the faint outline of the milky way, precious cosmic glitter; iāve loved all of it since i was little.
anyway, tonight, i got out to where the street lamps ended, but something stopped me. i took off my headphones and just stood there, listening. i gazed up, stunned by the beauty of the stars. after more than a few minutes spent in awe, i saw something small trot across the road behind me. its tail was unmistakable. a fox, silent as night, the first one i had seen since i was a child. it sailed through the trees by the road, pausing every so often to smell around or investigate a patch of ground. itās always shocking to me, how quiet it gets out there. even the wind, that slices right through my two jackets, makes no noise. unmistakably eery, probably sacred, and known only to me. i am so incredibly fortunate. itās the kind of thing you find when you disregard everyone entirely; having an idea, and executing it, no thought to if itās fucking insane or not.
i continued back along the lit road, taking a detour on a dark offshoot to elongate my run. the stars shone there too, but near the end of the street the shadows configured too darkly, the trees lining the sidewalk felt as if they were entombing rather than accompanying me. so, i called my brother and breathlessly caught up with him, as i turned around once more to make my way home. and i saw a shooting star!
so there. fox and shooting star. because i was a pussy and didnāt press my luck during one of my (admittedly questionable) daily habits. i love them! iām going to keep them in my brain like a keychain. a fox and a shooting star jingling next to my house key. isnāt that lovely.
Oct 27, 2024
Top Recs from @moonbeams
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the original infinite scroll
5d ago
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It's so lawless. Youāll see the weirdest things and no one will care. People are so unabashedly human here. Dead expressions, exhaustion, boredom. Youāll get a coffee, someone else will get a bloody mary, the time is irrelevant. Your priorities will be tested, everything costs at least three times as much as it should, it wonāt matter. I love liminal spaces.
May 10, 2025
May 6, 2025