January was genuinely horrible
the world felt like it was too much and I was isolating myself
But I’m pushing myself to go out!!! to explore!!!! to invite friends over!!!
Went to a dumpling-making party last night hosted by old friends I haven’t seen in years despite living in the same city. I went alone even though I didn’t know anyone else there and it was so much fun!! I ended up staying until after midnight and I was the last person to leave the party. I was nervous at first but so glad I pushed through that feeling. Alcohol and the structured activity helped but I know I have the social skills to get through anything.
I feel like im always the friend to initiate plans and go out and never the friend invited out by others. over time, and especially post-covid lockdown, I’ve basically stopped trying and therefore, spend a lot of time alone 🥲
I haven‘t hung out with myself for months but I have to go to the uni I got accepted in to pay part of tuition,
all of the sudden I got this stress about speaking with people in general
i think I have to go out by myself more often ig😓
at least i made a friend there.
Almost a year ago I was admitted to a psychiatric hospital for the second time. I was stuck in a cycle of emergency room visits, being referred to different services and attending crisis centres.
I felt so hopeless but I decided that I would give recovery one last shot and I knew it would need to be 1000000%.
My life has changed so much in the last year. Things still feel so hard sometimes but I’m managing. I dont feel so ashamed anymore and I’m making plans for the future again. I’m so grateful and happy I decided to get better.
This feels a bit self serving but I’m proud of myself. Something happened yesterday that would have sent me over the edge, but I’m coping. It still hurts a lot but I’m not hurting myself. It’s been nice to reflect on it today.
I am a free woman
That app tapped into my very worst insecurities
i thought I needed it for ~~~*inspiration*~~~
But inspiration is EVERYWHERE and now I can actually see it because I’m not scrolling constantly
:’)