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If there‘s one thing I’ve learned from movies it’s that if you’re a hitman and someone asks you what you do for a living, you can just tell them you’re a hitman. They‘ll go “ahaha how funny, what an excellent joke”, and you don’t have to correct them. You don’t owe them anything. And when they inevitably get swept up in your life of crime, they can’t get mad. You tried to tell them. You are a hitman and you’re not afraid to admit it. Go be a hitman girly. You deserve it.
Feb 25, 2025
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🏦I never go to the crime scenes but I create all the official-looking documents that are needed if something goes wrong. I'm not in any danger and I have enough dirt on everyone that they're all scared of me. I'm in this for the long run by the way if that wasn't clear. Why stop at one?
Jun 20, 2024
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😃I just feel like I’m on a mission… am I the killer… or am I the detective… what a cheap thrill!
Mar 15, 2024
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🔥Crime is too stressful but it seems like a very cool concept, I don’t know
Jan 25, 2024
Top Recs from @shirt
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😃a few words of wisdom from the guy rapping to himself on the j:
”we were watching CNN. i had sex with her, she said she didn’t see an end”
“remember the original space jam? before you spread peanut butter you gotta space jam”
“you‘re putting two together cause you see me with my travel bag. lebron james said fuck the referees tonight, he’s in his travel bag k@nye w3st’s producer’s at the show looking for groupies. i wonder who trav’ll bag”
“i think i’m famous online but i only get light views. she‘s walking around butt naked with the curtains open but i can’t even get a light view”
”we were watching CNN. i had sex with her, she said she didn’t see an end”
“remember the original space jam? before you spread peanut butter you gotta space jam”
“you‘re putting two together cause you see me with my travel bag. lebron james said fuck the referees tonight, he’s in his travel bag k@nye w3st’s producer’s at the show looking for groupies. i wonder who trav’ll bag”
“i think i’m famous online but i only get light views. she‘s walking around butt naked with the curtains open but i can’t even get a light view”
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last year i moved to new york with my friends and we all do sweet lovey stuff like cook dinner and watch the good place together. i complain a LOT about having to take the subway and how stinky it is here, but actually i secretly love it. smooches 😘🩷
