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Thinking about Eva Illouz on how dating apps are disembodied and reduce people to being product-like.
Nothing wrong if that's still your jam, but I like the idea of running into whomever you run into and letting life surprise you. The mutually longing looks in a stranger's eyes and a shared smile, the excitement! Human interaction - The spice of life!
Feb 26, 2025
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downloaded dating apps again after being asked for the millionth time why i'm not seeing anyone right now ... created my profile, swiped, and deleted everything within 24 hours .. again. why is everyone in such a rush to find that kind of connection? if i want a date night i'll call my friends. if i want mind-blowing physical satisfaction i'll put on a cate blanchett movie and do it myself. i just ordered a bundle of my favorite (terrible) (perfect) 1970s gothic romance novels to fufill my romantic dialogue needs... anywayssss have been feeling very content with my little life thank you to this piece (linked!!!) for validating all kinds of intimacy not just 'the one'
Feb 21, 2024
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I've Found there’s something so sad about meeting people with the explicit expectation of romance. i feel like I’ve lost the chance to be friends with some really cool people simply because we met on dating apps and tried and failed to date. Good People are everywhere, especially in cities, no need to force the hand of fate.
Apr 12, 2024
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I linked a rec I made over a year ago about deleting hinge and dating the old fashioned way. have I been on a single date since then? nope. do I stand by what I said? absolutely.
I’m still convinced that the apps aren’t perfect, and while they might work for some people they’re kind of a necessary evil at best. without them, it’s hard to put yourself in contexts where meeting someone organically is possible. and even then, within those contexts the meeting has to be just that: organic. it takes time. it takes being in places/situations regularly where you think you’ll meet people who share your interests/values. it also takes a bit of effort to initiate those interactions, and also fate that someone might initiate something with you.
the apps are a convenient, quick fix, instant gratification solution to the issue in that they will get you dates, but in exchange for quantity you may sacrifice on quality. things of quality have no fear of time, though. waiting to encounter someone who is a good fit and in a good phase of life to be what you need and vice versa is going to take time. and if you work a 9-5 like I do, you’re going to have to invest in putting yourself in situations to meet people in your free time.
Mar 11, 2025
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