😋
for lunch i accidentally ate 1500 calories worth of macaroni and cheese. i thought “fuck. now i can’t eat all day.” lmao i was so wrong. i ate dinner. it was a good dinner. i also ate like four sourdough pretzels. and four oreos. and probably a bunch of other stuff. i only weigh 130 so at this rate i’ll be 940 by saturday.
Feb 28, 2025
Related Recs
⭐
If this was a sport I would be an Olympian
Dec 24, 2023
Apr 29, 2024
🌰
My dinner wasnt't big enough
Mar 13, 2025
Top Recs from @al1
i haven’t used this app in weeks because i got a motherfucking job baby. busser at an italian restaurant. italian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love italian. i make money now too. i actually don’t know how much because i want to pretend i don’t care about that stuff. i also don’t care about water ot anything because i never ask for that either. i won capitalism and i believe i will continue winning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Apr 1, 2025
😃
what’s that like? i’ve never experienced it. i’ve been searching for a job nonstop for the past five months and fucking no one has gotten back to me. i haven’t even been called back to say i didn’t get the job. i’m sick of it. i’m not in desperate need of a job but i’d rather have one before i am.
i was expecting a call back all day. i waited by the fucking phone. i called because i was expecting a call this week, and the guy who interviewed me said “i’ll call you tomorrow.” fuck you. i hope you can’t sleep at night because you keep having dreams about your ex. i hope she calls you the next day and says she wants to get back together with you and she’ll meet you at your favorite date spot. i hope she stands you up, dan. i hope everything bad that could happen to you, happens. i wish murphy’s law upon you.
edit: it’s so funny because this is my first semi-serious post that’s doing NUMBERS. thought i’d point that out and brag a little. maybe i don’t need a job after all. can i monetize this post?
Mar 3, 2025