i could make a career of being blue / i could dress in black and read Camus / smoke clove cigarettes and drink vermouth / like i was 17, that would be a scream / but i don't wanna get over you
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
you.
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pour whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the whores and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he's
in there.
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out.
but I'm too tough for him.
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to screw up the works?
you want to blow my book sales in Europe?
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out.
but I'm too clever. I only let him out
at night sometimes.
when everybody's asleep...
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be
sad.
then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him
die
and we sleep together like
that
with our
secret pact
and it's nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don't
weep,
do you?
Well, I gotta get drunk and I sure do dread it
'Cause I know just what I'm gonna do
I'll start to spend my money, callin' everybody, honey
And wind up singin' the blues
I'll spend my whole paycheck on some old wreck
Brother I can name you a few
Well, I have gotta get drunk and I sure do dread it
'Cause I know just what I'm gonna do
I gotta get drunk, I can't stay sober
There's a lot of good people in town
That'd like to hear me holler, see me spend my dollars
And I wouldn't think of lettin' 'em down
There's a lot of doctors that tell me
That I'd better start slowing it down
But there's more old drunks than there are old doctors
So I guess we better have another round
Now I gotta get drunk and I sure do dread it
'Cause I know just what I'm gonna do
I'll start to spend my money, callin' everybody, honey
And wind up singin' the blues
I'll spend my whole paycheck on some old wreck
Brother I can name you a few
Well, I have gotta get drunk and I sure do dread it
'Cause I know I just what I'm gonna do
One of your eyes is always half-shut
Somethin' happened when you were a kid
I didn't know you then and I'll never understand
Why it feels like I did ... And you must've been looking for me
Sendin' smoke signals, pelicans circling
Burning trash out on the beach ... I wanna live at the Holiday Inn
Where somebody else makes the bed
We'll watch TV while the lights on the street
Put all the stars to death ... I buried a hatchet, it's comin' up lavender
The future's unwritten, the past is a corridor
I'm at the exit, looking back through the hall
You are anonymous, I am a concrete wall
i love being alone. i know who i am when i'm alone and i love myself when i'm alone. when i'm around people it's easy to forget and i get lost and aimless. how do you share parts of yourself without feeling overexposed? even just sharing creative work makes me feel like it's not mine any more and makes me doubt the part of myself that went into making it. but i also feel so stagnant when i'm not putting anything out into the world. where is the balance? how do you deal with this?