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Every single Scooby Doo movie. The old show, all of the spin-offs. Even the extremely deep cuts like 13 Ghosts of Scooby Doo. One of my favorites is the one where Shaggy and Scooby go to an all-girls’ boarding school for the daughters of monsters and Shaggy is their volleyball coach or whatever the fuck and he has to protect them from an evil fugly witch fittingly named Revolta.
When I was very small my Mississippian grandfather gave me a VHS tape of Scooby Doo Meets the Boo Brothers in a last ditch attempt to help me understand our southern gothic heritage at a level I could understand before he died (true to form, he entrusted his fortune to my great-uncle Payton, having no faith in my failson father, and Payt squandered it away into nothing living in the small shotgun house on the grounds of the sprawling old rotting family nursery in the valley; he spent it all on an extensive antique gun collection and then sold the guns at a tremendous loss for fast cash to help his beloved and her large extended family). I should probably finally read his copy of The Sound and the Fury that I carry with me everywhere I move.
What was I talking about? Yes I loved Scooby Doo it was my heart and soul. Even today I still love everything talking dog related. Recently in the middle of having sex I thought about what if Men in Black had cute cartoon talking dogs instead and I imagined an apple-headed chihuahua who would be the Will Smith one in his little suit and tie and I giggled by accident and he was like What? And I was like What?
I tried eating dog treats many times because I saw Shaggy eat Scooby snacks sometimes and they low-key looked kind of good. I would call my dad Shaggy—obviously not knowing that he was a stoner so it was just pure instinct and vibes—and my mom worried people would think he was a stranger who had abducted me. My dog Benny kind of looks like Scooby Doo and he really looked like Scooby Doo when he was a baby with a turquoise collar and that is one of my greatest prides.
When I was very small my Mississippian grandfather gave me a VHS tape of Scooby Doo Meets the Boo Brothers in a last ditch attempt to help me understand our southern gothic heritage at a level I could understand before he died (true to form, he entrusted his fortune to my great-uncle Payton, having no faith in my failson father, and Payt squandered it away into nothing living in the small shotgun house on the grounds of the sprawling old rotting family nursery in the valley; he spent it all on an extensive antique gun collection and then sold the guns at a tremendous loss for fast cash to help his beloved and her large extended family). I should probably finally read his copy of The Sound and the Fury that I carry with me everywhere I move.
What was I talking about? Yes I loved Scooby Doo it was my heart and soul. Even today I still love everything talking dog related. Recently in the middle of having sex I thought about what if Men in Black had cute cartoon talking dogs instead and I imagined an apple-headed chihuahua who would be the Will Smith one in his little suit and tie and I giggled by accident and he was like What? And I was like What?
I tried eating dog treats many times because I saw Shaggy eat Scooby snacks sometimes and they low-key looked kind of good. I would call my dad Shaggy—obviously not knowing that he was a stoner so it was just pure instinct and vibes—and my mom worried people would think he was a stranger who had abducted me. My dog Benny kind of looks like Scooby Doo and he really looked like Scooby Doo when he was a baby with a turquoise collar and that is one of my greatest prides.
Feb 28, 2025
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i reallyyy like reading everything that you write and yes scooby doo !!! I used to wake up really early when I was younger so that I could watch more tv and Scooby doo movies were definitely one of my favs!!
Mar 1, 2025
The boarding school one is called Ghoul School and it’s one of my favorites to!
Mar 1, 2025
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When I was 19 I impulsively bought a pet lionhead rabbit from the farmers market where I worked for $20 (tip money and change scrounged up from my boyfriend’s car). we named him Dale. That was another huge free will moment that I could just do something like that but unfortunately I had to live with the consequences of my decision and taking care of a rabbit is a lot of work! Years later I would talk in therapy and cry about how I couldn’t have a dog because it wouldn’t be safe with Dale, the financial obligation was too great, and it was not the right time in my life.
Dale died when he was ten not long after moving all the way across the country with him! He lived a long time for a dwarf rabbit and he was happy and healthy until the end. I had to euthanize my cat Kitty not long after that because she had lymphoma.
I got a kitten and named her Dolly and she was the love of my life! The sweetest goofiest long haired black cat who loved getting into mischief, sleeping on my head, and giving me hugs around my neck and kissing my face. She suddenly started showing symptoms of latent FIP, an untreatable fatal disease, shortly after her first birthday. Her condition deteriorated rapidly and I had to let her go.
The loss of Dolly was tremendous. I couldn’t imagine getting another cat to replace her because I would only ever compare them and she was one of a kind.
Still, I found myself at a shelter and when they gave me a tour of their adoptable animals, I saw this little guy in a cage staring out at me with his big beautiful eyes. When we took him out and brought him to a room to meet him even the shelter staff were impressed by how well behaved he was. I couldn’t leave this sweet wiggly worm behind so I adopted him!
It blew my mind that they would just let me fill out a form and pay them $300 or whatever and take a little guy like this home and that I could finally have a dog. It was a pain raising him in an apartment but he has a house with a yard now and I think (I hope!) that he’s very happy. Several people told me they thought this was a decision I would regret but I wouldn’t change a thing!
I got a kitten and named her Dolly and she was the love of my life! The sweetest goofiest long haired black cat who loved getting into mischief, sleeping on my head, and giving me hugs around my neck and kissing my face. She suddenly started showing symptoms of latent FIP, an untreatable fatal disease, shortly after her first birthday. Her condition deteriorated rapidly and I had to let her go.
The loss of Dolly was tremendous. I couldn’t imagine getting another cat to replace her because I would only ever compare them and she was one of a kind.
Still, I found myself at a shelter and when they gave me a tour of their adoptable animals, I saw this little guy in a cage staring out at me with his big beautiful eyes. When we took him out and brought him to a room to meet him even the shelter staff were impressed by how well behaved he was. I couldn’t leave this sweet wiggly worm behind so I adopted him!
It blew my mind that they would just let me fill out a form and pay them $300 or whatever and take a little guy like this home and that I could finally have a dog. It was a pain raising him in an apartment but he has a house with a yard now and I think (I hope!) that he’s very happy. Several people told me they thought this was a decision I would regret but I wouldn’t change a thing!
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At first, I was frustrated. Like shut up Gravy you're ruining my mellow high. But tonight I found myself looking forward to the neighborly small talk with the doodle's mom. Nothing like masquerading as a home owner and responsible, yet apologetic dog parent to silence the incessant rumination cycle of what my purpose is now that I graduated college. And apparently, I fuck with routine. Who knew?
At first, I was frustrated. Like shut up Gravy you're ruining my mellow high. But tonight I found myself looking forward to the neighborly small talk with the doodle's mom. Nothing like masquerading as a home owner and responsible, yet apologetic dog parent to silence the incessant rumination cycle of what my purpose is now that I graduated college. And apparently, I fuck with routine. Who knew?
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