I was born in a tiny town right outside of the Montana badlands two weeks before the turn of the century, one week before Christmas, and a week after my only sibling's birthday. I grew up in the middle of North Dakota, in a town big enough to have all the popular chain restaurants, but small enough where the only fun things to do with your friends was cruise around town and smoke by the river. I spent my childhood running around our neighborhood with the neighbor kids, and making YouTube videos with my sister and friends in the very early days of that site.
I've had a very complicated relationship with my family past elementary school, due to the fact that I had untreated ADHD and was always a bit of a troublemaker. My parents just didn't have a clue on what to do with me, to the point that they had considered sending me off to a boarding/reform school a time or two. I moved three hours away the second I graduated, and have been inching further east ever since. I didn't go to college, as I barely got through high school without flunking.
In my 7 years of adulthood so far, I've worn many hats. From working as a barista, to a waitress at a sushi place, to selling and making mattresses (I made the mattress i sleep on), to being a receptionist at a barbershop, and currently being the front desk girl at a tattoo shop, I never know what job is coming next for me.
I have a cat named Pooky, a beautiful fluffy grey and white tuxedo cat, that I can't help talk about all the time. He's just the best. I've lived with my cousin/best friend Aly, and her sassy cat Chloe, since 2018. We go to a lot of concerts, and almost always get to the barricade if we are in the pit. I talk a lottt. I have a stockpile of random information about musicians and history that I love to share with people. I love MCR. I thrive in the spring and autumn, weed gives me anxiety, I pronounce caramel like care-a-mel, have a slightly crippling fear of wasps and heights, and have recently gotten into crafts with my buddies. My 2007 Impala has 230,000 miles on it and I plan on driving it until it breaks down for good. And that's pretty much the basics.
Feb 28, 2025
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jilly me neither! it was cool to be able to build beds and sew the quilted outer layer around it. pretty sure i'm gonna have lung cancer at some point in my life bc of that job bc i basically just glued huge foam sheets together in stacks with industrial strength spray adhesives. they did not ventilate the place well lmaooo.
Feb 28, 2025
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Not that anyone will care, but to understand me you have to understand this:
I was raised by Christian Protestant fundamentalists, the youngest of 4 by 10 years. Although I resent the church and the theology I desperately tried to make myself believe, I am grateful for their teachings of serving and loving others, even if they contradicted themselves when they told me to fear the evil nature of humanity.
I was named after my grandma, who lived with me for 11 years of my childhood and remained ever trusting and kind as she fell victim to dementia. By the time I was 8 my parents seemed to have tired from raising 4 kids and intensively caring for a 90 year old woman, and I was free to bike miles across town to the library unsupervised, and patch myself up when I fell and bled, and lock myself in my room to read every spare hour of the day. I would read while I ate breakfast, I would read while brushing my teeth, I would read and I wouldn’t hear it if someone called my name. I discovered the internet soon after and unfortunately the curiosities it offered won out over literature. When the internet taught me I wouldn’t live forever in heaven under the tree of life with Teddy Roosevelt and my grandpa, I was on my own to process and panic and pretend to pray.
My family came from Norway, across Canada, down to Northern Idaho to work in the lumber yards, and finally to Oregon when starvation wages hit the shop teachers. My mom grew up on elk tongue sandwiches and I was never allowed to leave a plate full.
I always struggled with friendships, not because people didn’t like me but because I have a tendency for isolating myself. The people I love most tend to be strange and upfront and vulnerable. And I do love my family, but more than anything I want to be independent and meet many strange and upfront people who will lead me to adventure. I am almost 20 and I am an artist. I have no tattoos and I am reckoning with my potential.
Feb 28, 2025
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I’m a 30 year old UX designer from the northeast. I have a husband and daughter, and I’ve finally reached the part of life where if I died doing something stupid, people would say, ‘She died too soon’ but also, ‘Should have known better’.
I like art and making things without the pressure to complete them or have them be meaningful. The older I get, the more I want to keep my interests and accomplishments to myself because I have a secret fear of judgement and rejection.
(Just kidding it’s not a secret!)
I’ve been a tarot reader for five years, and I believe in ghosts mostly when it’s incredibly inconvenient for myself.
I have the same big three as Megan Fox and Queen Elizabeth II - I’m thinking of starting a group chat!
I’m trying to learn to let go of things that I can’t control, bus also acknowledge that it’s fucking hard.
I may be borderline depressed, but hey, at least I have a patent pending and vaguely remember how to quilt and blow glass.
I used to be a ferret queen, and a yoga girlie, and a bouldering babe, but now I’m firmly a couch rot mom. One day I’ll crawl out of my chrysalis and emerge ready to give a ted talk on how the divine fabric of reality is woven into the tapestry of all our lives, but today is not that day.
Feb 28, 2025
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let’s just go down the line
1. my parents almost named me “astrid” but my mother hated it so now i’m carina. i do think i could’ve pulled it off but it’s not their fault they didn’t know i was going to be a tall alt girl with cunty looks. astrid now exists as my alter ego… and she has her own lore as well
2. in high school i was a dedicated theater kid, and during my senior year i was involved in not one, but two productions of legally blonde the musical. the first round (at my local community theater) my good friend beat me out as elle to my own personal disappointment, but it did not deter me from being an all star sorority sister/lawyer/convict/extra etc. during our closing week, my high school announced we would be doing legally blonde as the senior musical. i essentially told the director she WOULD be casting me as elle and i would barely need rehearsal as i was born with this soundtrack in my veins and had the entire script memorized already. she didn’t like my attitude but cast me anyway as i was clearly born for the role. now i’m a pop star so.. it tracks. and yes it’s on youtube and i can’t remember my login it’s stuck there forever
3. there is lore in every one of my breakups, no matter how large or small a role they played in my life. after a two month situationship ghosted me in 2018 i went fully batshit and i believe it launched my journey as an artist today, sparking a photo series of self-portraits reflecting on the complexities of being a multi-dimensional woman in the age of online dating. since then my art and my life have continued to mirror each other in a cheeky dance that i am sure some larger force above is pulling the strings on, and laughing with me in delight. oh how divine to be in such comedic dialogue with the universe! oh to be an artist!
4. i also did acapella in college and there is a LOT of proof because in a way that is very on brand for me, our group just smoked a lot of weed and made music videos with the film students. great times
Jul 7, 2024
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Apr 16, 2025
It’s incredible how many people genuinely think they are boring. There have been so many times I’ve spoken with people and they confess that they think that they haven’t done much with their life, or that they don’t have much interesting to talk about, but it’s almost never the case.
From what I can tell, it’s often caused by a lack of knowing thyself. Or maybe a low self esteem? I’ve been through it too, and it is so so not true for anyone.
You’ve done so much living. Why do you feel like your story is not worth telling? I know you’ve gone through some crazy shit once or twice. if you really haven’t, what’s stopping you from getting out there and creating stories to talk about? Start small! go to a coffee shop once a week. See if they have any clubs to join, and try that out! you’ll be making memories in NO TIME.
If you have trouble finding meaningful/fun conversation, just remember that the effort must flow both ways. You are merely just working with what the other person is providing you, and if they aren’t giving you anything to work with, it’s not your fault. You aren’t boring, you are just around people who dont vibe with you. And that’s okay! Not every person is going to be your specific kind of person. Plus, if you aren’t having fun talking to them, why does it matter if they like you? the much cooler people who value your input are just around the corner. I promise.
One day you’ll be able to shine your beautiful personality on someone who is equally as bright you are, you magnificent comet, you.
Feb 13, 2025
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no frosting, no filling. nothing beats it.
Apr 10, 2025