I've been offered a really unique, challenging job, but I'm so burnt out from my last one I don't know if I should accept it. I feel grateful and excited, and ungrateful and terrified, and like I should take it because it's stable even if I'm not.
It's resting heavy in me, knowing that my next 21 months might be so work focused when maybe I need the me focus to not just be a sassy little crisp of a human.
I have to respond today, I have no idea what I'll do xoxo
Mar 3, 2025
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i know i'm so privileged to have a chill wfh job where workload isn't high and no pressure from managers, but i also feel like something within me is dying inside. (i also definitely have undiagnosed adhd as do both my parents lol)
when i DO have to do work, it is so fucking boring and i don't care about any of it. it's just writing up boring reports. so i procrastinate having to do them all the time which leads to a kind of weird low-level ambient stress that hovers over the rest of my life. the job is essentially a dead-end as i will never get promoted. my life goal is to continue writing (i currently write a substack newsletter) and one day have a novel, which technically this job allows me the time/flexibility to work on.... but i can't help wondering if staying in all day on my computer is depriving me of richer life experiences...
don't get me wrong, i read as much as i can at home, call other friends with boring wfh jobs lol and do online courses etc, but idk.... i hate not feeling more agentic over my time. but does anyone ever? i've been offered a 2x a week PT role in a town nearby and it'll pay enough to cover rent but i'd definitely have to hussle for freelance stuff to make-up the difference, and idk if i'm ready to give up my laziness.... but is too much comfortability what life is about? GOD IDK
Oct 1, 2024
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In June of 2023 I quit my job as a news producer after two years. I had a “mini retirement“ or whatever name it has now before it was trendy. I didn’t quietly quiet. I literally quit. I’ve written poems, won awards for poems, worked on my novel, abandoned my novel, come back to my novel, solo traveled, slept in, got into block printing, planted a garden, gone to concerts, tried to untangle the knot of anxiety inside of me, helped take care of my grandparents, done yoga, read books, watched movies. Now I need a job again. I want to do something I’m proud of. I want to keep this life I’ve cultivated outside of the traditional career. I’m terrified I will never be hired, that I’ve tarnished after these two years of living. Somehow doing the very things we’re on earth to do — create, try, experience — has hindered me. This fear is only being validated with every rejection letter in my inbox. It seems that I’m asking for too much. I don’t care that I’m young. The scope I’m looking through may be narrow but it’s all that I have.
6d ago
i’ve worked in the arts for my entire career, mainly in art museums. i’m also an independent curator and ran a gallery out of my storefront apartment for a year and a half. i’ve archived photographs, led museum tours, curated exhibitions, couriered art across the country in an 18-wheeler, written wall texts, edited books, interviewed artists, fundraised, done countless studio visits, written exhibition essays, provided accessibility for disabled visitors, built a curatorial practice around working with disabled artists, project managed performances, and participated as a performer in a couple of pieces (including a Tino Sehgal).
i am immensely proud of my work and have done and seen some incredible things. i’ve also worked with incredible passionate people who have the privilege and honor of making culture. but I’m also very burnt out and currently in the midst of plotting a departure from the art world, in search of a job that provides more balance. my whole job as a “museum worker” has been my identity for 14 years and I’m curious to see what my life looks like next. i’m mediating on and grappling with the idea that we weren’t put on this planet to labor, which compounded with the effects of lockdown and the pandemic, has changed my relationship to work and having a linear career. life is too short and too precious to give all of ourselves to a job (hope that doesn’t make me sound far out or too radical).
right now I’m working with a career coach, doing informational interviews, playing with my resume and cover letter formats, and applying for a wild array of non-art / non-museum jobs. I’d love to hear if you have any insights or suggestions! it’s scary making the leap but I’m trusting my gut here.
Feb 15, 2025
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