šŸ•ŗ
Today, I kept feeling a sense of excitement and happiness, and I was constantly trying to belittle these feelings because I’m so used to anxiety that I couldn’t understand why I felt like this even though I have so many things that are stressing me out at the moment in my life, I have responsibilities and deadlines and people that I have to respond to. You know what? How ungrateful of me to discard these emotions just because I, on the surface, don’t have a reason to feel them. I don’t need always a reason to feel how I feel. I think I just learned that I can allow myself to simply acknowledge emotions as they are. I’m trained to dig deeper when it comes to pain, to understand myself more, and to understand how I can better myself. I was never trained to just feel happiness and let myself embrace it. I can feel a cycle breaking and it’s so freeing, I can feel that I’m growing and evolving. And I’m grateful. So please, know that you don’t need a reason to be happy, you don’t have to justify to yourself every single good feeling that comes up.
Mar 3, 2025

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Thanks for sharing that !!
Mar 3, 2025
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meeyeva ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Mar 4, 2025

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being seen and appreciated for who i am rather than being kept around out of convenience has truly been one of the most life changing things for me recently. i now have the confidence to use my discernment and make decisions about what is unnecessary and unwanted in my life. thinking about the difference in my quality of life makes me so emotional, i’m just feeling so many things at once. i’m happy but i feel like my youth has been spent feeling subhuman and unworthy. from now on i will love. i will surround myself with it at all times.
Feb 17, 2025
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šŸ’Œ
Recently I’ve been focusing on feeding my soul and doing things for my spirit rather than for an external motive *(Often times I will catch myself putting on an outfit or posting on instagram with only the intent of being recognized and validated) we are individual people and seeking things outside of ourselves makes it difficult to be happy and feel content with our lives. A few thoughts…. - doing art because it’s enjoyable (not focusing on the outcome) - wearing an outfit that I like, not what might be complimented - taking photos because I want to remember the moment or because it’s beautiful, not to post it on instagram - listening to pop music because I enjoy it and I shouldnā€˜t be worried that it’s too ā€œmainstreamā€ If you can’t tell this is a common theme in my life- so I’m here to remind myself and the person reading this to refocus your perspective ā¤ļø
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I used to feel that way a lot but honestly once you're with the people you like and something funny happens or you try a new thing at a new place you remember like "oh this is life". I don't know if that makes sense but sometimes feelings get complicated when you think about them. Feeling deep connection will ebb and flow with all people you know. I don't think things have to be deep to matter. Just experience it all and have fun with the little superficial things too.
Jan 25, 2025

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šŸ‡®
This thing always makes me smile. When I was little I never thought that something that came so natural to me could be perceived as weird/intriguing/surprising by people from other cultures. Growing up I understood that for others it was fascinating and funny, in some kind of way, to see us Italians, in our cities, in bars, restaurants, in squares, in the middle of the street, communicate with one another using very specific hand gestures paired with very specific facial expressions. It’s not just casually moving our hands up and down chaotically to emphasise what we are saying. I swear, we are able to communicate with each other without saying a single word, just using hand gestures+the facial expression associated with that gesture (we have at least 250 specific hand gestures). The roots of this sociological and anthropological phenomenon are to be found in the history of my country.Ā  Basically for a long time Italy was not a unified country, we had dialects and languages that were different in every region, we had what we call ā€œSignorieā€, ruled by rich Italian families, then reigns that were ruled by Austria, Spain, France and so on. Basically, we couldn’t understand each other. Latin was the language of the educated, and Italian vulgar (Italian of the origins, which then gave life to the Italian spoken today) was not yet spoken. The only way to understand each other was through gestures. Even now, if a Venetian had to speak in dialect with a Sardinian, and the Sardinian had to speak in Sardinian, they would not understand well, but if they had to use the gestures they would understand instantly. I would love to create a sort of tutorial for italian gestures, maybe one day?Ā  If someone knows a gesture, you can ask me what it actually means.Ā  Maybe I can start with the most famous one, and the most misunderstood of all: ā€œšŸ¤ŒšŸ¼ā€ When do we use this and what does it mean?Ā Ā Let’s start with three different situations were you can use this gesture, even though there are more (the intensity of the meaning varies from the situation ur in): 1) What do you mean? (move the hand not to fast, up and down, close to your body) context: a friend says something that you don’t understand, you are confused. Facial expression: a kind of grimace with the corners of the mouth pointing downwards, the slit eyes (as when you can’t see well from afar), the eyebrows slightly frowning. You are not angry, just confused. 2) Start by raising a bit your open hand in front of the person you are facing (āœ‹šŸ¼-> meaning ā€œstopā€, ā€œwait a minuteā€), then proceed with moving up and down your hand ā€œšŸ¤ŒšŸ¼ā€, turning the hand horizontally towards you chest. You’re not agreeing with what the person is saying, you’re a bit nervous, this gesture means ā€œwait, what the heck are you saying?ā€. Facial expression: similar as the first one when you put you open hand up (bit more confused), then when you move the hand horizontally, accentuate that expression even more, with the mouth straight and clenched. Context: you are pissed, not angry. You’re starting to get angry. 3)Ā Raise your arm horizontally, the hand is still in this position ā€œšŸ¤ŒšŸ¼ā€ but turned horizontally as well. With a lot of emphasis, move the arm towards your chest and then facing it towards the other person, repeatedly. Meaning: ā€œWHAT THE F DO U WANT?ā€ Or ā€œWHAT THE F ARE YOU SAYING TO ME?ā€. Context: someone insults you, someone makes you very very angry by saying something. Facial expression: the face you do when you’re really angry 😤. (this is not good because this means an argument is going to start).Ā  If you want a part 2…let me know? I don’t know if this is interesting, or if it was clear.
Apr 30, 2024
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This morning I started to recognise the familiar symptoms of an anxiety attack, that usually leads me to be completely unable to function. I have my resources and I can handle them (anxiety/panic attacks), even if they cause me an immense amount of pain, both physically and emotionally. But there’s one thing I was never ever able to do, that people often told me would help: put on comfortable clothes and take a walk, go outside and breathe, get the fuck out of your room. I thought I would never been able to do that, never. ā€œI am not strong enough, it may be good for others, but me? I’m weak, I cannot function, something bad might happen, my body is not my ally in these casesā€. I guess I was wrong, and I’m so happy to admit I was wrong. I said to myself, when those symptoms arised this morning: ā€œok, breathe, it’s just the same familiar stuff you know very well. Now, you can deal with it, even if you’re scared. But this time, why don’t you try something different? For just one time, allow yourself to react by moving your body, try to show your mind that there are other ways to deal with thisā€. I was scared as fuck, but I did it. And I discovered another part of myself that I thought wasn’t there. My body, this time, wasn’t against me…and maybe it never was, the poor thing was just trying to adapt to the comfort zone that stillness represented. I am incredibly strong, so much more than what I thought. And if someone needs to hear this: YOU ARE TOO.
Jan 25, 2025
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šŸ‘“
Lately anxiety is not helping much, and I’m constantly drained due to exams coming up. I miss my family. I miss myself. This made me reflect on the fact that I’m still here, and also…we are such precious creatures. We diminish ourselves, but everything we touch we influence. We are way more powerful than we think we are. Anyway, let’s see what we have here: • a fraction of ā€œTHE wallā€: from left to right two postcard I bought last summer at the MusĆ©e des Beaux Arts in Bruxelles (ā€œGeorgetteā€ by Magritte, a pic of Magritte himself, on the bottom a quote I found in a fortune cookie, then a quote I found in a ā€œBacio Peruginaā€ a chocolate treat that is very well known here in Italy, on top of Magritte two Js as you can see (this is a CRAZY story), then on a post-it a quote of a thing I wrote in a sort of essay, then a poem that my best friend wrote for me, another fortune biscuit’s quote, a post-card from a place in Italy called ā€œSacro Boscoā€ (Sacred Wood, also know as ā€œParco dei Mostriā€ = Monster’s Park), it’s an old black and white photo of a young boy grazing the sheep šŸ‘), two more post-its (one from roomies one from my mom). Yes I have a thing for post-its… • books I started and I never get the chance to finish because of uni (I really recommend though ā€œWhatever arises love thatā€ by Matt Kahn aaaand to start educate urself on Palestine (if you haven’t already started you should, it’s great) ā€œMornings in Jeninā€ by Susan Abulhawa) • Abat-jour, lamp, whatever you call her, with a ā€œnecklaceā€ (bracelet I made with my granny when I was little, my wrist grew so the lamp suits it better as a lovely necklace), on top a sleep mask. • a notebook (I love it, the red one), on top my two pairs of reading glasses. • Forest green water bottle (very used, but I love her) • A ceramic jewellery holder, which was of my beloved grandmother, with jewels I inherited from her 🄺 • a thing I use to store my bangles and bracelets (my little treasure, they’re all vintage/inherited) • one of my thousands of candles (I don’t know why they ease my anxiety) and mini Corto Maltese (in my opinion a masterpiece in the world of comic-strips) themed matches.
May 12, 2024