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I've had this story in my mind for quite a few years now and wrote a couple of chapters for it back in 2022. It’s a little old (and in desperate need of some reworking), but as I’m finding a new resurgence to continue the story, I wanted to post it here, still proud that I produced it at all. Hopefully, I will be able to update you all as I continue to work on it. :)
Mar 7, 2025
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This was published a couple of years ago (I think? Idk) and it doesn’t make me cringe which is hot and rare. I’m proud of it!!
Dec 16, 2023
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(Subrec: retiring the term autofiction)!
Writing about one of the most significant periods of transformation in my life has reminded me of my experiences in EMDR therapy: returning to the moments that shaped me—the sublime, the horrific, and everything in between—not just to relive them, but to recontextualize them. Through this process, I revisit the past, weaving empathy and perspective into old wounds, transforming them into narratives that help me heal rather than haunt me.
Writing this chapter wasn’t easy; even after all the personal work I’ve done, I still hadn’t fully unpacked much of what I explored here. But in the same way EMDR therapy creates new mental pathways, confessional writing allows me to create new emotional pathways. What once felt overwhelming now feels like part of a larger, layered story—a story I get to write on my own terms, with dark humor, empathy, and grace.
This chapter is about the seeds of identity, love, and longing being planted in the soil of a viscerally chaotic and often violent childhood, and the thorned rose that breaks forth out of this poisoned soil, delicate and sharp, a reflection of resilience built in tandem with pain.
Not even my closest friends fully understood the depth of my experiences until I opened up to them recently. Sharing this chapter feels like baring my soul in a way that’s both terrifying and liberating, but after being silent for so long, I believe in the power of raw, confessional storytelling—not just to connect with others, but to heal.
Part 1 introduces the narrator’s restless haze living in her desert hometown one year after high school graduation, working at a twee Wes Anderson-themed restaurant and drifting without direction. A chance encounter with an old acquaintance draws her back into his social circle, sparking a journey into memory. Part 2 delves into the complex history behind this connection, revealing the tangled ties that bind her and the unresolved emotions that shape her path forward.
I’m so excited to share Part 2, ‘Seeds Planted,’ with you. It’s layered and deeply personal—another piece of my journey that I’m honored to offer to you. I’m looking forward to hearing how it speaks to you, or how you’ve found your own ways of recontextualizing the past.
Jan 12, 2025
I wrote this a while back about the first and second half of this experience, we’ll call it, within the context of Addison Rae’s Diet Pepsi and Lana Del Rey’s music and the pressures of growing up. Lately I’ve been reflecting on my repression of desire and back on my Lana shit so I don’t even know how I feel about it anymore but it should be an interesting read. I think I was cooking but I should probably look at it again myself and consider any pieces that may have been missing then in my mind at the time I wrote it
Mar 4, 2025
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Mar 13, 2025
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I’m watching it be fleshed out in real time, seeing every kind of mishap or glitch. I love it, it’s changing with me.
Mar 31, 2025
One of the best influences a friend had on me is to make a Pinterest board of my own photos. Unlike apps like Instagram, a personal board allows you to fully fill it with yourself unabashedly. Mine works as a digital diary of everywhere I’ve been or seen. But, you could fill it with recipes, outfits, photography, anything. In time you will have created a collage reflective of yourself.
Feb 18, 2025