Rec | GOTTA PICK AND CHOOSE YOUR BATTLES HERE

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i have been in situations where it felt like i needed to be the better person for others to think im not hurt. times when i needed to be around people who hurt me really bad in life. what i learned from that is, some people will never do you dirty again. others will 😂 and when i catch who will hurt me again, i keep them at a distance and don’t invest energy into maintaining anything. forgiveness should not be guaranteed, and its difficult to have people come in your ear to say you need to forgive in order to move on. no you need ti just set boundaries around people who hurt you and move forward with it. there are so many people back in my college days where mutually things were so bad. will i apologize and forgive them? probably not ill just distance myself from those people and they become an afterthought.

@chiawase_

Mar 9, 2025

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YOU'RE gaining nothing by not forgiving

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@choc_orange

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Paradox of tolerance

What you allow in your life (ie poor behavior, bigotry, inconsideration, etc.), you‘re subconsciously saying this behavior is ok. I know, I know. ”But what does it say about me if I am not accepting of others?” In the grand scheme, you’re saying “I’m ok with people treating those I care about like shit.“ This is a hard one to learn. I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. Sometimes, that same benefit of the doubt is enabling flat out shitty people to keep being shitty people. So what do you do? You want to make sure everyone feels cared for? Start with yourself. The next time that one friend who says everything that’s on their mind hurts your feelings, tell them. watch How they react. Watch if they do it again. And decide from there. Because at the end of the day, you aren‘t obligated to keep people in your life, whatever the reason.

@weird

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forgiveness is as much an act for yourself as it is for the person you‘re forgiving

first things first: u never have to forgive someone if u don’t want to. sometimes there is no reason to not move on from a situation, but that’s still your right. you should take all the time u need to make peace with urself and what happened. my dad once told me that the worst thing you can do to urself is to wish someone else ill will. giving ur energy and thoughts to a situation or person in a way that doesn’t help you process what happened, but only serves to make u upset, is a disservice to urself and ur time. u deserve to be happy and u deserve peace. look of it as a way of letting go of the negative thoughts and emotions that that situation causes u. forgiving someone doesn’t necessarily mean ur justifying what they did, but instead respecting ur right to be happy. u can forgive someone and still not continue that relationship with them. seeing forgiveness as a way to allow urself to grow past a situation and not define urself by it, instead of as a mandatory ritual after someone has wronged you, has helped me to move past people and situations that have hurt me and kept me from growing.