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It’s a period of sudden painful goodbyes for me right now and a period of unexpected hello-agains, and I’ve discovered so many new ways to cry in the past couple of weeks, different shades and timbres and tempos of tears. I thought that this movie would destroy me and that I would have mascara and eyeliner running down my face, but it was actually too beautiful and uplifting for me to do that. It really resonated with me and where I am in life right now in some key ways and I’m happy that I went to see it in the theater today. Gorgeous gorgeous story of resilience and joy in the face of adversity and turmoil.
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Mar 11, 2025

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I’m always keeping my thoughts on the few films I choose to write about solely within the pages of my notes up, so I figured what the heck! Maybe someone out there might like the two cents I want to spend on talking about a film that moved me :] Spoilers, ofc!!! Ā (2/2/25) Absolutely beautiful film. Watched it with katlafo, and we were both sobbing messes by the end. Throughout the beginning, I spent so much time trying to analyze the film, thinking I HAD to figure out the underlying message of a film I’d heard so much about before I’d even truly experienced it for myself. Man. The scene where Greg shows Rachel her film was so beautiful. Again, I tried to pin point what it all meant in the moment—the constant cuts to Greg and Rachel’s pained expressions, the long shots of seemingly symbolic stop-motion—but I realized that that was exactly what was keeping me from what I longed for. So I sat there, and felt. And cried, and cried. Later, the scene where Greg chooses to go to Rachel’s room, allowing himself to simply exist in the silence, taking in the remnants of her life, it was all so beautiful; the tears just wouldn’t stop, haha. While I didn’t leave this film with some life changing message I was subconsciously searching for, I feel this movie reminds me to love myself the way I do others; and to do things because they matter to ME, because I care about them. While I want to say I’ll never trust anything that tells me someone or something won’t die at the end, I know that’s not true.
Feb 3, 2025
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Devastating. absolute gut punch. one of those where you become so immersed in the actor that you forget you’re watching a performance. Cannot stop thinking about this story and the quiet and absolute strength and perseverance of Eunice.
Mar 12, 2025
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1/19/25 This movie was by no means perfect, but it wasn’t trying to be. It was what it was and knew that just that is enough. It’s been a week since I saw this and am realizing it really hit me hard. I’ve somehow never experienced something so hopeful and buoyant yet devastating and having a way of making me feel so damn insignificant in this universe. … I don’t know. Maybe I read into it a bit much.
Jan 27, 2025

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ā€œLife shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.ā€ — AnaĆÆs Nin This is uncharacteristically raw and personal, even for me, and pretty heavy! I know many of you have seen me posting through it and I feel safe to talk about it openly now that I’ve safely landed at the start of my new life. It’s honestly even a little bit embarrassing but I think it’s important to share. I’ve never publicly mentioned it on here, but I have a husband; as of Friday, we’d have been together for 11 years, and we’ve been married for 3 years as of 2/22. I realize now that I wanted to explore what I looked like outside of my relationship with him because I had lost that. This is why PI.FYI has been so meaningful to me as a space to express myself and connect with people—to rediscover my voice. I had been living a lie this entire time, to others but worst of all to myself. He’s been verbally and emotionally abusive, physically but without touching me, to the point that every day I spent with him I was in danger. I’ve been shrinking myself and walking on eggshells to avoid making him insecure and provoking his casual put-downs and fits of rage, while hanging on for dear life to the threads of good I could see. I’ve wanted so badly to leave, more than anything, but I felt like there was no way out and that this was just something I would need to endure indefinitely—but someone who is so very dear to me helped me see that I have wings to fly, not by acting as my savior but by reminding me of my own power. The emotional safety they built and the gentle care they showed me made me feel like I could open up to them. With their encouragement I was brave enough to tell the truth to my friends, my family, my boss, and they have received me with warm, loving and open arms and rallied to support and protect me. The financial andĀ  logistical aspects were the most intimidating to me and it’s going to be tough for a while but I’m going to be better than okay! Now I’m opening up to you. This isn’t the only abuse I’ve suffered in my life, and my old therapist told me she believed it was my mission to share my strength and light with others to inspire them and show them that change is possible. I hope that by sharing this, I can reach even just one person who is going through something similar and show that they are not alone, and they are not weak. People with certain backgrounds may be more vulnerable to abuse, but it can happen to anyone. It thrives in darkness, shame, and isolation—and breaking that silence is the first step toward freedom. Leaving is the scariest thing I have ever done but I have so many angels around me, and I am endlessly grateful. Thank you for being here with me šŸ’Œ
Mar 16, 2025
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My dad teases me about how when I was a little kid, my favorite thing to do when I was on the landline phone with somebody—be it a relative or one of my best friends—was to breathlessly describe the things that were in my bedroom so that they could have a mental picture of everything I loved and chose to surround myself with, and where I sat at that moment in time. Perfectly Imperfect reminds me of that so thanks for always listening and for sharing with me too šŸ’Œ
Feb 23, 2025
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Schedule sent my resignation email for the morning, effective immediately āœ…šŸ’…
Feb 27, 2025