Related Recs

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If it can happen to me, it can happen to you

This time 4 years ago, I was reeling from the most embarrassingly heinous situationship that’s ever befallen anyone I know (lol this guy is perhaps a story for another time). Now I’m 2 years into living with the love of my life, thinking that I was too broken to ever get close to a human being again Some of the (many) things that worked for me: - Taking an extended period away from dating, far longer than I had thought. In a fucked up way, I think Covid saved my life since I functionally had no way to get back out there for 6+ months (I’m not counting those weird FaceTime dates). Even if you think you’re ready, it’s possible you could still benefit from time outside the cesspool just working on yourself and investing in friendships/hobbies/your career/learning new stuff/whatever. - On a related note, therapy was very needed! - Start a new, group hobby where you’ll see the same people each week. Not that you’ll forcibly end up dating someone you meet there, but an expanded circle often brings good into your life and it’s exciting to have something new in your life that isn’t tied to success on a dating app. - Not to be that person since I always hated when people said this to me when I was single, but it always happens when you least expect it. All of the above contributes to a new you who isn’t yearning for it above all else. People are drawn to others who seem to be thriving without them and I promise you you’ll attract much higher quality people when you project this attitude (my own prospects were night and day since I was content in my own life and saw someone as additive not just looking for love/acceptance/contact from whoever could provide it). Those are the things that came to me initially, but will keep noodling. Rooting for you ❤️

@tortitude

Apr 1, 2024

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feel free to ignore this

i don’t know you so take this with a grain of salt if it doesn’t apply to you. i’ve also never had a long-term romantic relationship so maybe i’m not the best person to listen to anyway. BUT i do have a beautiful community of long-lasting friendships which i believe has given me the skills to be successful in a future romantic partnership i guess my point is it might be helpful to focus on developing friendships and community first. who knows, a date might come out of it too! but i’ve gone on dates with people who don’t have many friends before and it’s turned out to be a red flag cuz they haven't had experience with relationships in general also, i've noticed the times i've most wanted to be in a relationship are times when i haven’t connected with my friends in awhile. desire for romance can be a signal for general human connection sometimes. so having a good community might fulfill some of the needs you’re feeling too. but i know it’s a different thing than being head over heels for someone… all depends on what we’re looking for i guess all the advice on this thread is great for both dating and making friends though! i hope you find lots of meaningful connections of all kinds in the process ✨

@capyboppy

Mar 16, 2024

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it’s simply to gain experiences

I saw dating (especially with apps) as just a way to gain experience and practice different relationship communication, I.e. how to draw boundaries or bring up small conflicts (used to be a nonexistent skill for me). I set some expectations from the get go as well. I said I didn’t text, and I only saw someone I was dating once per week. I had a tendency prior to become enmeshed really easy, so I was making sure I didn’t fall into that same trap. It helps give time to actually get to know someone before it becomes “serious.” Also… YOU are the prize of your life. As others have stated, you’re seeing if someone can fit (well enough) into your full and luscious life. Keep yourself busy with friends, family, learning, fun, hobbies. You have an awareness already that this is a thing for you. When you notice yourself starting to go insane, PAUSE! Explore that. See how you can slow down.

@mossyelfie

Jul 2, 2024

Top Recs from @chronicwebuser

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GETTING RID OF THE STAR COUNT

@TYLER please let us be free from the commodification of the data generated from our social, whimsical, and sincere, free expression the sincerity of this app is because it’s different from those other apps :/ why do we need metrics on how we socialize? 🫩🫩🫩🫩😮‍💨😮‍💨 i’m curious as much as i am sad about the decision to make the star count visible. is that what its proper name is? or are we calling it likes? 👀

@chronicwebuser

3d ago

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WHEN SOMEONE TELLS YOU WHO THEY ARE THE FIRST TIME, BELIEVE THEM

this might be pessimistic, but i think i’ve finally learned this lesson… if you can recognize icky behavior in other people and leave at that first sign, you will have significantly more stable, meaningful relationships of any kind. do not rationalize their poor behavior and give them the benefit of the doubt. move on. i wish i started doing this sooner.

@chronicwebuser

5d ago

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QUADRATINI

any flavor will do srsly. my body is 1% quadratini rn.

@chronicwebuser

5d ago