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I do not recommend. Itās not a milestone people talk about like eighteen, twenty-one or any multiples of ten but as someone who is currently going through it, Iām here to warn you:
Your 43rd is the year that the world begins to blow the dust off the ancient tomes that meant the most to the earliest version of yourself. They hold aloft the formative texts of your adolescence and for the first time you hear your lived experiences breathlessly intoned as historical record. āTHE BENDS IS 30 THIRTY YEARS OLDā.
Time slows, the sounds around you fade as you get a tightness in your chest and your tongue goes numb. āThe Bends is 30 years old? But thatās the album I put on when Cara Clement doesnāt want to go to the dance with me! The formative fabric of my youthful soul is interwoven into these songs, could 1995 really be that long ago?ā
Your mind is reeling now, āā¦wait, what else came out in 1995? Mellon Collie and The Infinite Sadness? Liquid Swords? Elliot Smith? Whatās the Story Morning Glory? Gangstaās Paradise? THE BATMAN FOREVER SOUNDTRACK? Oh noā¦ oh noā¦ OH NOā Slowly it dawns on you that you were an impressionable young dreamer coming into your own during what is often regarded as the zenith of the pre-internet music industry.
Obviously the circumstances will be materially different for you if you are not also born in 1982, but rest assured Dear Ones: the year you turned thirteen, as your limbic system heightened every feeling and neuroplasticity worked it way toward your prefrontal cortex shaping the world you live in from the inside out, something was widely regarded as being the best it would ever be and one day, thirty years from that time, a culture preoccupied with reminiscence will rediscover that thing that was your thing and you will feel the invisible hand of progress gently take you by the crook of the elbow and guide your shuffling feet toward the Museum of Old Balls.
Mar 18, 2025
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Iāve experienced 5 birthdays for ages ending in zero and none of them marked a big turning point in my life *
What Iāve realized, and other people have agreed with, is that no adult age has felt like I assumed it would be when I was young. 30, 40, 50ā¦ Iām still me. Less hair and more prescriptions, but still me.
Ages will mean as little or as much as you decide they do. If you want turning 30 to mark a change in your life, go for it! Want to forget about it? Itās forgotten. Life doesnāt organize itself by decades or years.
Do takeadvantage of every opportunity you have, though: go places, exercise, meet people, take care of your body. Those kinds of things get more difficult with age.
Also, donāt stop looking for new music.
*well I bought a car when I was 30 and drove it for 20 years, but the timing was just coincidence
Dec 3, 2024
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Happy birthday! You have a great batch of years ahead of you, the best yet. I'm biased, but it's been my favorite decade so far (every year is better than the last, the idea of "peaking" is for chumps). Some thoughts!
Group trips - when you say "we should go to X someday," or "we should rent a house" "we should do a day trip to this cool thing or this sculpture garden" actually do it. Blow up the group text, have everyone agree on a day or week or a weekend and make it happen. People will start thinking about "settling down" and "having families" which makes everything that much harder to plan (depending on who your friends are -- I have friends with kids who still do it all). But do those trips, because they're really fun.
Cooking - get some nice staple kitchen stuff and start cooking. Cook for yourself, for dates, for friends, cook together.
It's ok to let go - Don't burn bridges if it's not toxic, but it's ok to let friendships fade if you've outgrown them and it's ok to recognize them for what they are. Sometimes you will grow together and sometimes you will grow apart. It's alright to let someone become an acquaintance. It can also be very hard to accept, but know that whatever you feel, it's ok.
Old friends - some people have known me through so many different phases of my life. Cherish those old friendships, and make the effort to deepen them. Keep doing those long phone calls, take a weekend to spend together, travel to see a concert together, be there for birthdays and other life events. Those relationships are really special. Same goes for family if that's possible.
Stay curious - you're on this app, so you're already curious. Keep reading, watching, hobbymaxxing. Keep trying things on and checking things out to see if you like them. Learn new stuff. That's not just for your thirties, that's for life.
Stretch and take care of your body - itās your precious vessel. That's also for life.
Jun 6, 2024
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i honestly havenāt really put real hard thoughts to this but the other night at the porter robinson show, he had this transition where the screen asked questions such as ādo you remember what your baby teeth felt likeā and āwhen was the last time you hugged your mom,ā and i stood there realizing i donāt really experience nostalgia in that sense, and i donāt really process the passing of time in that sense, but it did make me realize iām way, way older now
besides the obvious things such as noticing your parents getting older, i think this year i finally felt it for real. whether itās younger friends pointing out that iām 25 and their tone just sounded like theyāre scared of that number (haha), or me catching up with my older friends and they are telling me about their plans and wishes about turning 30
itās the act of having to be responsible for yourself, really really having to do that this time, and having to plan ahead despite iāve always just lived life as it standsāand how much iām struggling to do it. how frustrating it is to face the problems iāve been running away from and still having no idea how to fix them, but just knowing that iāll have to, that really feels like growing up
anyway this is too longāš¼
Sep 13, 2024
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I quit smoking cigarettes so I needed something else to stand around outside doing. So far Iām not very good at it but itās really put into perspective what a waste of money cigarettes are.
Mar 9, 2025
4.5 billion years ago a planet named Theia got a little squirrelly and smashed into proto-earth and they splattered rocks and lava into space and it made a ring that eventually collected into a ball and now Iām looking at it hovering over Dickās Sporting Goods
Apr 12, 2025
gimme that peak experience I wanna feel part of something so big and profound and yet so small and insignificant at the same time
Apr 7, 2025