so there were lots of nice moments!! among my favorites:
• saw a great movie at my friend’s favorite and very cool theater
• enjoyed the presence of other writers during an hour of work on our projects
• explored a quirky used bookstore
• had several late night, falling-asleep-as-you’re-speaking chats with my friend of 26 years, just as we’ve always done
• laughed hard
• friend beat me to saying “i love you” and i realized how often i’m the first to say it in relationships/interactions and hearing it offered (instead of automatically returned) helped balm something i didn’t know was wounded
• proved to myself that even though i can never outrun my OCD, i can do more alongside it than i thought i could
Mar 21, 2025
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just booked tickets to go stay with a couple inter-city friends after we’d been talking about this for weeks
the dopamine rush is insane
Apr 13, 2025
i went on my first truly solo trip this weekend and it was a blast. i got a hotel in downtown pittsburgh and spent my time walking the city, stopping at cool shops i saw, finding local spots for food, going to a monster jam show at the arena, visiting museums and the botanical gardens. and wow! it was so nice to explore a new city completely on my own terms.
i’ve always been good at doing things alone (only child behavior) but for the past few months i have been the definition of crash out core, and i have just felt really lonely and pessimistic about life. i spur of the moment planned this trip for myself about a week ago because when i feel myself really slipping from reality it always seems the only thing that saves me is spontaneously doing something to feel like i have control over my life again. and boy! did i rediscover a piece of myself in pittsburgh.
life has its ebbs and flows for sure. but as i drift through my 20s, im trying my best to make sure i always feel secure in myself. i like being around me! as long as i have me (which is inevitable), i know i have the power to build a nice time for myself.
i fear i uncovered a piece of my heart in pittsburgh. a heart that shows myself way more grace than i have been lately. a heart that thinks i am a pretty awesome person who is worthy of pretty cool things and will cultivate it myself if i have to.
my solo weekend trip was great, and im very excited to do it more often
Feb 17, 2025
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I am flying to Minneapolis next weekend to visit my best friend … been savoring all my recent lore both good and bad I cannot wait to chat with someone I love who gets it
Oct 27, 2024
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bc it’s what I originally wanted when I first went to college at 17 but I was scared to make writing my job and got a B.S. in Nutrition instead lol
Now the goal is an eventual PhD in Victorian Literature but I’m just happy to have made it through this part at 32!
Stacked is everything I read in my English courses—barely pictured are the 5 stuffed accordion folders of other reading materials under my chair haha
May 16, 2024
đźšż
the only place i win the social interaction
Aug 21, 2024
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conflusional. delonfident, even
Oct 1, 2024