đźŽ
and i made a song about you but it’s also about me and no one will ever hear it its called my thoughts and its not actually a song but the way music flies out of your mouth makes me want to say sweet nothings as i put my words with yours like a torn up half read book you keep by your bedside table that you tell yourself you’ll get around to. i play fast and loose with my actions around you, and maybe it’s too much even for me.
i try to distract with overconsumption of digital content thst just fucking overwhelmes me and gets in the way of anything getting done.
you’ll never read this by the way. but can i recite the pages of senseless amateur poetry i wrote about you?
i never really belong anywhere, and i camouflage into a current residence until i trick myself into thinking i truly know the people i’m around. it happened once, the effect that is. im not there anymore, and i hope those people don’t hate me like i hate myself for leaving. this isn’t about you, just me rehashing horrible guy-wrenching emotions of a past (if you can even call two years ago the past), and things i don’t talk about.
im the most observant person ever, and you wouldn’t expect it. i’m so sensitive, i pick up every little movement someone does and i overthink everything thst happens before and after a conversation, guilt racks me after any social gathering and i wonder if i said anything wrong.
but there’s so much to be grateful for life is so so beautiful im so lucky to be alive and have this device that i’m emotionally giving myself to and have given my life to. i love love, life, and people and i already made a long post about this im not reiterating. and i love how i can see you everyday and stand on the sidelines as your hype man in your game of love, ill hold the water bottle of my unrequited longing, ready to serve drops of my musings of you only to accidentally pour myself onto you.
Mar 26, 2025
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@HUXSID haha you're good, hi, the goal is just to do what I want and follow the things that make me happy
Mar 26, 2025
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and all that has loved me, dead or alive.
humanity is such a fragile thing, cherish it, squint at the sun, be happy for your friends and their wins, be happy for yourself and your wins, be happy for the people smiling across the street. don’t waste the miniscule, unimportant, tiny fraction of a cosmic second that is our lifetime being an asshole. love everyone and love yourself i love love i give love and i receive it. i love my surroundings, my bed, my family who i come home to every day, my mom and dad who do so much for me, my sister who is always there for me and has been my best friend for life, my pets (come home stevie, we miss you), access to food and water, my friends who i truly cherish, nature, the wind and the breeze, music, oh the music of life how the birds chirp and the streams swell and fall and dance around the wet earth guiding the arrival to the calm rivers, the vast waterfalls, the sun and moon, eternally locked in a neverending dance that gives us another day, a fresh start. my silly little device that connects me with everyone in a second, and i can talk to my friends and say hi and that i love them i actually love everyone i’m sorry is that a problem? i love how everyone looks so different and how everyone is living a vivid life and has problems and situations as complex as mine (there’s a word for that i think) and i love how everyone has different scars and birth marks and hair and eyes and i love how everyone acts a little different and has their own personality and spin on things and i love art and how being is an art in and of itself, to exist is to persist. i love how i can give back to my community, i love volunteering it makes me so emotional when i’m finished because i love helping whenever i can i’m not trying to sound self righteous or anything. i love pushing my body to its limits in sport, i love running and i love dancing so so much i love moving my body and creating art in synchronicity with music. i love water, the beach, sand, i love lakes, sunsets, that feeling of silence but not loneliness. i love being outside and just sitting, no thoughts, just wanting to live out a moment forever. but i also love living past that moment and living another moment and another and soon i will post this and then 8 months later look back on this and smile and love it. i actually am ok and it’s all going to be ok and i love you and everything
Mar 7, 2025
đź©»
M-M-M-ME I AM
oohhhhHHHMYGOSSDSDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD PLEASE JUST LET ME PLEAD MY CASE I HAVE COURTSHIP IM NOT A LAME PERSON YOU KNOW THAT ABOUT ME AND I WOULD NEVER LIKE A STORY TO TELL YOU HOW I FEEL
I WRITE POETRY ABOUT YOU I GET NERVOUS WHEN IM NEXT TO YOU YOURE IN MY DREAMS GET OUT OF MY HEAD GET OUT GRT OUT
I WOULD BE SO NICE AND CARE FOR YOU AND ID LET YOU BE YOURSELF AND I WOULDNT MESS IT UP I PROMISE PLEASE YOURE SO SMART AND PRETTY AND I GET LOST IN YOUR EYES I CANT BE SROUND YOU ANYMORE AT THIS POINT YOU IT HURTS OHHH GOD MY HEART SWELLS AND DROPS AND THRNS AND TWISTS AND THRASHES AND BEATS A THOUSAND MILES A MINUTE AND OH MY GOD YOU CANT KEEP DOING THIS TO ME I HATE HOW NICE YOU ARE AND ILL NEVER TELL YOU BUT I HOPE YOU READ THIS ONE DAY
pleasepleaspelwaseplwaspelwasepleasepsleaplseaplseaplseapleaseplease
today i cried
for a lot of reasons
it was inexplicable
i long for so much
you’ll hate me
if you find out
Mar 21, 2025
đź«€
i can’t listen to music without thinking about her. every piece of shitty poetry that condemns my for you page makes me think of her in our living room. she is holding bills as she sits on our couch, a calculator on the table and a glass in the other hand. i will ask her what she wants for dinner, and she will tell me.
there’s something so guttural about knowing you want to love someone for the rest of your life. that little moments like a dinner order are exactly what will give you the drive to wake up and slave away to a 9 to 5. ive been thinking about what i wanna be a lot lately. i think it’s honestly teaching. philosophy. i like to imagine myself as a philosophy professor discussing love with my students, i would tell them about my little artist at home and our baby girl and how i too thought marriage was simply the removal of autonomy until it befell my door.
i think that’s a normal way to feel, with tubes of “the good ol ball and chain” and “can’t live with her can’t live without her“ down our throats like prospective foie gras.
but my love is gentle. it is patient. it is kind.
Mar 16, 2025
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đź«°
i open it, wait for it to load (delayed gratification), swipe the top refs, like them, check out the accounts their from, might follow, see what the people i follow are posting, search up new music or something random (all on my own accord, no algorithm, no doomscrolling) find something actually cool that i bookmark/add to a list to check out (which i do check out), either leave the app satisfied or make a silly little post and then leave the app with no urge to keep scrolling or looking, happy with my time spent
Feb 10, 2025
❌
everyone
you have NO business over there. NOTHING good coming out of there anymore.
instead try;
- active listening
- reading a damn book
- giving a shit about other people
- finding whimsy in everyday life
Feb 10, 2025
🧉
you guys just drink it because it’s green, if it was like orange or brown the hype would NOT be there
Mar 25, 2025