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Sometimes I feel terrified. Then I wonder, DAMN. It's in my own head and on my own clock. Can't I let my imagination take over in a GOOD way? A wildly fantastic whatever I like and want way?
I can give myself that.
Mar 29, 2025
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Words appear as I think them like a karaoke video in serif font on a white background. Sometimes Iāll be doing the dishes and Iāll start repeating paragraphs Iāve drafted and editing and rearranging them and adding to them in my mind and they shift around visually as Iām doing it. Sometimes other words or phrases will get caught in there and theyāll quietly pass back and forth like a sky banner. Songs are often drifting throughāright now itās Pale September by Fiona Appleāand if thereās a particularly beautiful or resonant part itāll loop through that snippet a few times.
I think almost entirely in words, in monologue and in text, with very faint flashes of associative imagesāI imagine this is to protect me from the dark and horrific things Iāve seen in my life that would be too much to bear if I were to be exposed to them in such a visceral way. I canāt rotate or even envision a shape to save my life.
Rarely, strong images will appear to me in conscious lifeāI remember lying in bed, about to fall asleep, and suddenly seeing from the point of view of an investigator entering a pitch black cave with a lantern held in his hand as his only light, about to discover something terrible, no doubt.
My dreams are vivid and laden with powerful symbolism, and usually there is a sense of being too afraid to fully step into my power or claim whatās mine.
I have the memory of an elephant, with everything filed in nearly chronological order. Iām sure I tend to embellish and dramatize without realizing but then I think my memories speak to a certain distilled emotional truth, more accurate than pure facts. Sometimes there are some incredible blind spots in my perception that I donāt realize existed until years later.
I analyze and intellectualize everything. Iāve been told that my mind is obsessive and tends to fixate. Sometimes the emotions that I keep trapped in the basement push their way up through the trap door and threaten to stampede me as their captor but I manage to stuff them back down again until Iām ready to let them go; some of them may never see the light of day.
Feb 15, 2025
Big navel gazer here; I often start in a delusionally romantic state of viewing things and evolve to a kind of reserved pragmatism through the process critical examination. Lately, writing has been like preserving these ephemeral states in amber, coexisting in a state of delicious permanence I can return to, instead of allowing them to wash away with the tides. This ultimately helps me engage more deeply with the world.
Jan 14, 2025
sometimes when I'm waiting on a piece of news or a message back that matters to me in some big way, I become infested with a nervous energy that just can't sit still inside my normal routines and habits. Art is one place to pour it, I've learnt, but so is deciding NOT to just head home but instead to take a spontaneous turn, and another, and another, until I end up somewhere quite close to home but utterly unfamiliar, perhaps somewhere that I couldn't have imagined was just around the corner the whole time, and in that moment things feel bigger and more open, the future expands far out into the beyond, and my little moment of time finds its drop of peace.
And then I get back on my bike, and head back into my routines, the moment passes and the worry returns, but I ride off knowing that the significance of that expansive moment WILL echo into my actual future, and whatever that message says, I'll know I lived all the way through it
Mar 23, 2025
Top Recs from @1strawberrysecret
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When I feel scared or anxious, wow... Breathing.
Sleeping is a solid second place.
1d ago
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I'd like a stronger affirmative/feedback that I liked a post.
Somehow I click it like 5x liking and unliking it and unsure if it went through. I think the stars change color now from white to yellow.
Mar 31, 2025
I've been wanting to do this for yearrrrs. Finally. FINALLYYY.
It doesn't stick to glass, but it does stick to itself.
100% cotton fabric, prewash and dry.
Cut with a shearing scissors to prevent fraying. (Or hem.)
I opted for a 1:1:1 ratio of beeswax, coconut oil, and pine resin. Double boiler to melt.
Apply less and layer the wax as needed.
Mm... Spreading with a spoon did not work as well as a silicone brush.
Iron under parchment paper to spread + seal. (Or bake at 200ā° F briefly.)
Hottt water + soap for clean up (hands, utensils, etc.)
Cold water to clean the cloths, as needed.
I love it. It made my kitchen smell like pine and propolis.
17h ago