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our personality is a shade the place we live in and interact with, so we are inevitably blenders of tangled thoughts and corners of memories, a collage of disconnected screenshots
Mar 30, 2025
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Which is odd for me because my recall memory is very very visual. I seem to narrate what I'm saying, which is also how I read stories, in my own voice either right before or while I'm saying/typing something (like this for instance). The way I hear it is in the same slightly tonal pattern in which I talk, seems very real and normal.
I also tend to think about thinking a lot and getting in the weeds in the WHYs of everything. Whether it's my anxiety or other diagnoses, my brain really wants to focus on something I don't understand until I figure it out and there are just way too many things in the world in which that does not mesh with the reality of our dumb little human brains.
I think a lot about how we are both electric sacks of meat and gas and rock and perhaps some other 4th thing that somehow can fathom at least the existence of the universe.
Feb 15, 2025
yesterday, I sat in a movie theater, watching a 5/5 film, but somewhere between the frames, I slipped away in my own world. my eyes wandered around the room, scanning the foam-lined walls, the dust resting on cushioned seats, the soft glow of the screen flickering against strangers' faces. for a moment, I was no longer in the film— I was in my own world, watching, unnoticed, in a room full of people, feeling as though i am in a film myself.
it happens in the classroom too— pens scratching, pages turning, heads bent in deep concentration. and yet, I lift my gaze, watching the quiet rhythm of work, as if the scene before me is unfolding on a screen, as if I am only passing through.
maybe it’s a habit of slipping between worlds. one foot in reality, the other in observation. caught between being present and stepping back, seeing life not just as it is, but as a scene, a story, a moment unfolding. perhaps that’s the beauty of it — to exist both within and outside, to live and to notice, to be part of something yet still see it from afar.
Feb 22, 2025
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I exist somewhere amongst all the conditions of life and all the contradictions of reality.
I am stuck somewhere between the real world and the world within my head
Apr 11, 2024
Top Recs from @alikelylad
every time you live a city, you carry away dreams and hopes - it’s the drastic magic of goodbye
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complicazione13, a true Italian pastiche
out on youtube, soundcloud and ninaprotocol
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have you ever seen the Peter Pan's shadow?
from "Peter Pan in Kensington Gardens":
the reason birds can fly and we can't is simply that they have perfect faith, for to have faith is to have wings
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