š£ļø
There are some things going on with my family that are going to require me to have some difficult conversations. I have reflexively avoided such confrontation in the past and have instead tried to keep the peace and be a people pleaser, but I know facing the music and discussing it will make my life better and my family life better. In evolving into more self-respect I feel like it has also given me more courage overall, because it often goes hand in hand with confidence. And I am confident that I mean well and come from a place of love and understanding, so it makes it all the less scary to take on conflict. I feel really happy to have this security in myself in order to try to make the lives of my loved ones around me better.
Apr 2, 2025
Related Recs
š¤ŗ
Itās a skill that only gets less scary with practice. Do it with people you wonāt ever see again, and do small things! As you get more confident then you can level up to bigger conflict. Like, itās really amazing how much things arenāt that big of a deal. Anxiety makes it seem to us like weāre unsafe for stating our needs.
My journey was one that included a lot of therapy, which if you look at my stuff I recommend a lot. I was always very willing and able to stand up for others, but not myself, so I did a lot of questioning āif this was someone else, would I be okay with it?ā and imagining that I was standing up for younger me. Often times over the top people pleasing was a survival tool that was needed, but isnāt any more.
Alsoā¦ realize you donāt have to be a bitch. Asking for respect and your needs to be met isnāt bitchy. Does that mindset stop you from standing up for yourself? Conflict can be very simple, straightforward, and respectful. If someone goes off on you, thatās their issue. And thatās something that helped me a lot too- other peopleās reactions werenāt entirely because of me. If someone reacted poorly, I could also draw boundaries with how Iām being treated. Pretty cool. Makes me feel like I can handle anything.
Lastly, I worked as a caseworker with DCFS for a few years and that really helped me in the long run. I had to work with and try to help people that hated me, and I learned a lot. While I donāt recommend anyone work for DCFS bc itās a shit system, being forced to experience conflict so much did the trick.
Jul 22, 2024
š
I can set boundaries with friends and say things bluntly without feeling bad. The constant pressure I put myself under in order to protect the feelings of others is unnecessary. I can't control them so why am I letting them control me? I can stand to be a bit meaner and to the point. I don't have to try to please every person I want to be closer to.
Jun 22, 2024
šØ
if youāre person with anxiety like me or a person who experiences misogyny (also me) then chances are you could always get a little meaner when it comes to asking acceptable behaviour of others. looking back on times when, in the moment, i was worried that i was being too harsh by telling people how they can treat me, retrospectively i have almost never ever in my life felt i did the wrong thing. realizing this has made standing up for myself 10x easier every time i find myself needing to. showing others grace is not incompatible with showing up for yourself, in fact, one necessitates the other!
Mar 14, 2024
Top Recs from @linfo
Iām on an instagram break plus I like you guys more so please enjoy this painting I am proud of. Referencing Boschās garden of earthly delights, specifically the third āHellā panel ā¤ļøāš„ acrylic and gouache on raw canvas!
Feb 5, 2025
š
Like I am sometimes haunted by thoughts and thinking too much can be low key scary
Jan 30, 2025
Mar 13, 2025