Okay my advice is very miscellaneous but here goes: ⢠Idk if youāre already in therapy or not, but unless you adore your current therapist (who may or may not have training in autistic folks?) I would highly recommend seeing a therapist who is autistic themselves and works with neurodivergent people. Iāve been to 5 therapists over the course of 15 years and BY FAR the most helpful experience has been with my current therapist who is the only one Iāve ever seen who was also autistic. Iām no longer wasting time trying to āfixā things about myself that neurotypical society (& neurotypical therapists) convinced me were problems. Now, someone understands my problems more innately and is able to help me identify when itās truly something interfering with my life rather than just an external pressure Iām taking on unnecessarily. ⢠As someone who also found this out as an adult rather than a child⦠thereās so much relief but also waves of grief that may hit unexpectedly. Grief over how hard you may have been on yourself when you were young and didnāt understand what was going on. Grief over support you perhaps could have had sooner that you have access to now. Let yourself feel the grief and work through it at your own pace. ā¢ā¦and lest that sound too depressing, know thereās even more relief around the corner as you slowly learn more about yourself and how you can best live and move in the world! (following autistic writers and other creators online has been so encouraging for me as weāre all just figuring it out and supporting each other) ⢠Itās valid to be frustrated with autistic traits in yourself and itās valid to love autistic traits in yourself. Youāre a whole beautiful person, not a pathology. ⢠This is getting soapboxy so Iāll stop but congratulations on your diagnosis and I wish you all the gentleness and clarity and support! Feel free to DM me if you ever want to talk more about it! ā¤ļø
Yes to all of this! I had a therapist for 5 years who I loved, Iām not sure whether she herself was autistic, although I wouldnāt be surprised. She was neurodiversity trained and it was through working with her that I came to realise I was autistic. Iāve been thinking of maybe going back to work with her again, or whether to seek out someone who I more practical focused, as I feel after those 5 years Iām sort of talked out and now I need some practical advice!
hard yes to the grief. Iāve felt it so much. Especially as my ME/CFS was likely initially caused by autism burnout, the thought of whether I might not be physically disabled if Iād been diagnosed autistic early is something Iāve had to grieve massively.
Do you have any writers or creators that youād recommend? Iād love to see some.
Thank you so much for your response ā¤ļø
@MOUSE sorry for the typos btw my app seems to be glitching! Anyways I was also going to suggest Morgan Harper Nichols, she doesnāt often speak explicitly about being autistic but it comes through in so much of her art and poetry and is just lovely (and one of her blog posts was actually what majorly tipped me off to the possibility of being autistic).
Iām always telling everyone to go to therapy!!! Itās out of love š«¶ I suggest it because at some point in your life you learned feelings NEEDED to be over there. Yeah, youāre going to have to learn how to feel them, but Iām gonna assume that the distance comes from some kind of trauma. You canāt learn how to be in your feelings if your unconscious or body is going to think itās unsafe. Again, there is a reason you learned how to do that. Maybe itās obvious to you or maybe youāre like uhh mossyelfie youāre WRONG. And maybe I am, but an irl therapist can be helpful to figure all of this out and guide you š Also (from personal experience) thereās a good chance the feelings feel so big because theyāre at a distance and theyāre not being heard. Theyāre like babies, they get louder when theyāre ignored. Theyāll probably chill out when you start learning how to express them.
i really really resonate with this! iām trying to pull myself out of one too. some stuff thatās helped me before in the past is asking some of my dear friends for prompts ā either super specific or super vague. it helps me to work within the guidelines of something. also making something based on a dream can feel more forgiving because itās explicitly not grounded in my own reality. and scheduling art/creation hangs if that appeals to you! i love the accountability of doing it with others, and itās also a great way to get in some lovely quality time. i hope any of this helps! and i also hope youāre as kind and gentle to yourself as you can be, itās so hard sometimes ā¤ļøāš„
bc itās what I originally wanted when I first went to college at 17 but I was scared to make writing my job and got a B.S. in Nutrition instead lol Now the goal is an eventual PhD in Victorian Literature but Iām just happy to have made it through this part at 32! Stacked is everything I read in my English coursesābarely pictured are the 5 stuffed accordion folders of other reading materials under my chair haha