I used to lovvve it. I would smoke every day for years with my friends and we would go on adventures exploring trails and fields (probably trespassed on someone's property like once a week lol whoops). If I was alone, I would smoke at home and clean or listen to music. It really was my escape, as corny as that sounds. BUT... all good things must come to an end, and unfortunately mine was about 3 years ago or so.
This picture of Peter glitching is probably the best representation to how I feel now when i take a 5mg edible these days. One bad experience with a different substance occurred and ruined weed for me completely. Now, whenever I get high, or even inhale a bit too much secondhand smoke, my heart starts racing, I disassociate, and get flung into the most severe panic attack imaginable. It's like living in a nightmare for approximately 3 hours.
Honestly, the worst part is explaining this to people and they reply with "you just have a low tolerance/you just need to try this strain/blah blah blah". I've tried easing myself back into it but nothing works, my brain just associates weed with danger now regardless of the strain. womp womp.
Apr 16, 2025
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unlike other people here I've had bad trips and bad highs and not been totally turned off of weed. but like all good things for me, it's incredibly specific and conditionial. mostly because I am actually, medically hypersensitive. everything I take and do is in comparatively small doses and my experience will peak at a certain dose and then nosedive from there.
I started with like 25mg edibles and had a great time for a long time. eventually worked myself into reverse tolerance over the course of a bad year. not a huge deal, I just started doing it once a month again, or longer. and it really wasn't a hard transition for me. but one time when I was in my longest tolerance break I was offered half an edible and went yeah sure. um it was 50mg of a strain I already didn't like. I had fun for five minutes and then for three hours I couldn't talk and vertigo was so bad I couldn't move. wanted to throw up but I couldn't move a muscle in my body. and all I could see was stars in my vision. for the first time on weed I was actually tripping too. it's the only time I've been high that I remember extremely vividly y'know. thought I was gonna die the whole time.
that traumatized me for a while and even then it took me a bit to finally stop all together. weed isn't addictive but my body was begging for something and that's all I knew. but nowadays I've found alternatives for everything but pain and the high itself, mainly adrenal suppliments and even then there's aleve and shit.
I didn't think there's any risk to using edibles but apparently if you're chronically ill or getting reverse tolerance a green out can get really intense and actually be dangerous. but I think the "high" and "experienced user" amounts are 1. subjective and 2. kind of wild. even a 2mg edible can get me a good time so it's best to accept and learn that trying to achieve some kind of heroic dose of weed of all things is dumb. it doesn't do anything after a certain amount I promise.
I mostly take edibles for pain because I don't want to be too dissociated. or I bump with other things for the fun of it. but I prefer to do it alone and make a little ritual out of it. it doesn't feel like a "party drug" to me it feels like the only way to get my body to relax a little yk
Apr 17, 2025
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I started smoking weed as a young high schooler who had been craving drugs most of my youth, out of curiosity, wanting to fit in, wanting to quiet voices, and when it did all the things i wanted it to do i leaned on it for years. Clung to it. But, after going cold turkey on my antidepressants due to being sick of them, weed was my friend. She helped me calm, regulate, laugh, she reminded me to eat, and best of all share with people i loved. I don’t need anything to do that anymore (Shout out frontal lobe development) and due to being broke in college, i smoke significantly less, and now only when i want to, not because i need to. which is nice! addiction sucks bawwwllsss and my sprint away from who i used to be with substances has slowed into a nice jog.
Feb 18, 2025
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Me and miss mary jane go way back, a solid decade atp, and it’s crazy to think how different my relationship with her is now. I actually just got a memory notification from the time I was pretty physically dependent on her. I for sure used weed as a crutch through some really tough periods of grief and trauma in my late teens and early twenties.
I didn’t plan it this way, but when I quit nicotine last year I also kinda quit weed. I refused to let dependency form again when quitting nicotine as I had previously struggled to fall asleep without weed. So when I cut nic, I cut all inhalants. And haven’t really picked them back up again with the exception of a literal handful of joint hits in the last 10 months.
Another big part of that for me was how well I could breathe again. I don't think I was nearly both as active and at rest as I am now that I don’t really partake as much anymore. I recently took an edible with a friend and just felt anxious. Safe to say I think that chapter of my life is closing, not that it was a bad chapter, just a different one. I’ve replaced my old habits with new ones, I’ve been quad skating a lot more, creating more, reading more. Things I never felt motivated to do when I was high all the time. Things that do take the edge off of life and stress in a new way that feels more gratifying for me than weed ever did.
Apr 17, 2025
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Apr 16, 2025
It’s incredible how many people genuinely think they are boring. There have been so many times I’ve spoken with people and they confess that they think that they haven’t done much with their life, or that they don’t have much interesting to talk about, but it’s almost never the case.
From what I can tell, it’s often caused by a lack of knowing thyself. Or maybe a low self esteem? I’ve been through it too, and it is so so not true for anyone.
You’ve done so much living. Why do you feel like your story is not worth telling? I know you’ve gone through some crazy shit once or twice. if you really haven’t, what’s stopping you from getting out there and creating stories to talk about? Start small! go to a coffee shop once a week. See if they have any clubs to join, and try that out! you’ll be making memories in NO TIME.
If you have trouble finding meaningful/fun conversation, just remember that the effort must flow both ways. You are merely just working with what the other person is providing you, and if they aren’t giving you anything to work with, it’s not your fault. You aren’t boring, you are just around people who dont vibe with you. And that’s okay! Not every person is going to be your specific kind of person. Plus, if you aren’t having fun talking to them, why does it matter if they like you? the much cooler people who value your input are just around the corner. I promise.
One day you’ll be able to shine your beautiful personality on someone who is equally as bright you are, you magnificent comet, you.
Feb 13, 2025
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no frosting, no filling. nothing beats it.
Apr 10, 2025