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So, okay. I’m a sucker for trains. I think they are nice and comfy, and Switzerland, where I currently study and live, is said to have one of the best train systems in the world so it’s basically law to like this particular mean of transportation over there... but even then, when I used to live in Paris, there was something about the subway that made it so very often relaxing to me— even during (the evil and ever so obnoxious) PFW.
So, to all of those who cannot see it and refuse to catch a vibe, here’s a little breakdown on what makes train rides so goddamn cool and how to make them better if you still think they suck after all this.
PROOF THAT TAKING THE TRAIN IS COOL
- First of all, I don’t want to brag, but the SNCF (Société Nationale des Chemins de Fer Français, France’s very own messy-ass train company) sends you a yearly breakdown of the CO2 you save by taking the train instead of driving everywhere like a dumb dumb. (Yes, I do not have my driver’s licence yet. No, I am not bitter about it at all). And let me tell you, if Katy Perry et al. took a train to space instead of riding J*ff B*zos’ d*ck, maybe we’d have had a chance surviving climate change. For one, I did my part by figuratively crossing the country a whole lottatimes in breaststroke (I am aware this is not the most accurate way to calculate length but I’ll happily treat it as fact). So, yeah, fuck you Blue Origins.
- Second and maybe the most important point : Do you even know how much time you can save by doing things you really need to do in the train??? Do you????
I am not even kidding, this is the perfect way to multitask if you’re a college student or a WFH type of lad. Train rides can be boring, sure I’ll concede. But bring a good book you’ve been trying to read but didn’t have the time to or your computer and you’re set for the next X hours you would otherwise be spending trying not to fall asleep at the wheel of your shitty 2014 Fiat 500 (again I’m not bitter just ecologically aware...ish).
- Last point: landscapes. Few are the places where you get to see so much whilst doing so little for it. It’s like hiking for lazy people. Love it.
SO YOU ARE A HEATHEN— AND REFUSE TO ADMIT THAT YOU ARE WRONG ABOUT TRAIN RIDES? HERE ARE A FEW TIPS TO MAKE YOURS MORE FUN!
- A good playlist : can and will make almost anything 1000 times better. Here’s mine if you‘re too busy being so cool driving your cool person car (NOT. BITTER.) to make your own train mixtape and enjoy the ride.
- Crosswords : chances are, if you’re in the train, there’s an old person in your immediate vicinity. Ask them to help you out on the hard words instead of checking the answer sheet at the back of the book. Then, if (and only if!) they match your vibe, ask them their life story. You‘ll get reheated, well-infused tea AND a heightened sense of self for not checking out the answer sheet. You‘re welcome.
-Last but not least, and my favourite game to play ever, find the hottest person on the train : If there’s one, congrats! You can now ogle away and make up stories about your life together after they inevitably catch your gaze, ‘coz let’s face it, if you thought you were discrete you were anything but (Trains are smaller than you’d think and there’s not so many people that you wouldn’t recognise them when you inevitably take the same bus home afterwards. If you noticed them, they probably noticed you back at some point). If there’s no hot people on your train— congrats as well! It means it’s probably you. Boom, free dopamine boost. Go on with your day feeling like sex-on-rails.
To conclude, we should all fuck with trains. Except when there‘s a tuna sandwich involved in any way, shape or form. Fuck you if you are a tuna in the train person.
Apr 18, 2025
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Extremely europilled post
Remembering my Munich - Paris trip in December. Packed the whole time, someone farting constantly and a guy stretching his feet into my space for hours. Was in bed sick for days after that.
Apr 18, 2025
@SOLDIERBIRDER uhhh sorry for liking train rides despite your personal traumatic experience I guess? will be praying for joy to find you on your life path nonetheless :)
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People have the craziest convos on a train (I’m thinking Amtrak, Eurostar, etc) , especially the solo travelers who chat up the people sitting next to them. The last few times I’ve taken my headphones off on a train and tuned into the convos around me I learned and giggled a lot. Would highly recommend!
Apr 14, 2024
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I only take flights over oceans, and have avoided short-haul flights for about 5 years now. It’s the combination of deep environmental guilt, but also tbh I just *really* enjoy train travel. I just took the train from London to Venice Italy which was incredible—sunset over the alps. European trains are so much further ahead than American trains, which is silly when you think about the whole railroad race / baron situation in the late 1800s. America could have had such a cool rail network. I took the train from LA to San Francisco last year and it took 15 hours. FIFTEEN! and the only food on board was soggy hot dogs. Nein danke. Pls send your rail execs to Europe for some on-the-tracks research. It's just so much more stress-free to walk into a station in the middle of a city, taking time to read as fields and forests speed by, a chic little snack and then, boom, you arrive right in the middle of another city as if nothing happened.
Sep 22, 2022
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I always find that long train rides are the opportune moment to refresh the brain and lock in.
Think, you're sitting there with nothing else to do but work while also having momentary breaks to enjoy the scenery.
If I can't bring my laptop, I use train journeys as a way to clear my camera roll and de-clutter my phone.
Don't knock it til you try it
Jan 28, 2025
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In this day and age of societal teenage-like anguish and ‘core’ frenzies, I have a confession : Locking in is a social construct i will never partake in, if only because there’s never been anything wrong with a little bit of silliness.
…So I want everything to be fun and a good time and somedays i feel like the world is a tilted stage on which i’m asked to dance? And if then I cry and cry and whine and I take a day off to journal about it? Sue me!
Lately I came to the realisation that I come from generations and generations of fucking losers who took a long time to figure out what they wanted in life and then weren't all that good at pursuing it. I’m not saying that I want to be lazy about my goals and aspirations — by familial standards i’m actually quite far advanced in this regard, but I will say loud and proud that I’m more than okay with a speck of emotional turmoil and doubt, if it means I can get a day off crying in my room and writing about it while sipping a glass of shitty red wine.
—That‘s how good art starts anyway.
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No lyrics = more feelings.
I don’t know how to explain it better than this in so little words.
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Sometimes you think that you'll never be anything great because what you wish you were is already someone or something else, and you can’t explain it, but it feels weirdly good. I guess it takes the pressure off somehow and that allows for experimentation and failure, and all of those things that make people people. This movie is that for me, I think. I’m nothing. It’s everything. I love it.
Oct 30, 2024