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I love the White Pube but this essay in particular is exceptional & something I have been thinking about a lot vis-a-vis the digital ugliness that was all over ad-world last year and the slick colors and fonts this year. & also the grumpiness I've carried with me a lot the last few weeks. Yeah, I really do want to scream "I am in a bad mood! I really only love strangeness" at every tourist I run into.
Apr 27, 2025
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🧟i was talking to a friend about the word “ugly” — how it’s treated like the ultimate insult, the worst thing you can be. i wish we could stop using it that way. and i don’t mean in the corny “everyone’s beautiful in their own way” sense either.
to me, being ugly is a kind of truth. it’s vulnerability in its rawest form. people fear being ugly because it means being seen — not admired, not approved of, not filtered. just seen. it’s confronting. it’s human. being a human is ugly.
maybe that’s why kink has always fascinated me. kink peels off the base layer, the polished version of you. im a strong believer you can learn a lot about a person just from their kinks. it reveals what’s weird, specific, obsessive — the parts we’re told to keep private and kill. it’s a space where you can be exposed and messy and still held. it’s where you’re allowed to be ugly, and not be punished for it.
anyways, I guess my recommendation is to be ugly. embrace it, stop hiding from it.
to me, being ugly is a kind of truth. it’s vulnerability in its rawest form. people fear being ugly because it means being seen — not admired, not approved of, not filtered. just seen. it’s confronting. it’s human. being a human is ugly.
maybe that’s why kink has always fascinated me. kink peels off the base layer, the polished version of you. im a strong believer you can learn a lot about a person just from their kinks. it reveals what’s weird, specific, obsessive — the parts we’re told to keep private and kill. it’s a space where you can be exposed and messy and still held. it’s where you’re allowed to be ugly, and not be punished for it.
anyways, I guess my recommendation is to be ugly. embrace it, stop hiding from it.
Jun 20, 2025
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"Beauty privilege is very real. None of us are imagining it, and if we aren’t born genetic lottery winners, our only option is to compensate with style, grace, and charm. Of course, none of that shit comes cheap. That’s kind of the whole point. It’s all meant to be aspirational and exclusionary. We’re supposed to feel depressed by our skin, agitated by our bodies, and anxious about our invisibility. That’s the insidious subtlety of social control.
The worst part is that we know in our rational minds that it’s all bullshit, and yet we’re still plagued with self-loathing when we can’t live up to unattainable beauty standards. No matter how much self-acceptance we achieve, we can still look in the mirror and instantly catalog all the things about ourselves that we don’t think measure up. It’s maddening. It makes us feel like hypocrites even though it’s not our hypocrisy."
– The Coquette, Ugly-Sexy: Cool? | Adult Mag (2014)
The worst part is that we know in our rational minds that it’s all bullshit, and yet we’re still plagued with self-loathing when we can’t live up to unattainable beauty standards. No matter how much self-acceptance we achieve, we can still look in the mirror and instantly catalog all the things about ourselves that we don’t think measure up. It’s maddening. It makes us feel like hypocrites even though it’s not our hypocrisy."
– The Coquette, Ugly-Sexy: Cool? | Adult Mag (2014)
Oct 2, 2024
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i remember this article being everywhere when it was published in 2021. still so incisive. pairs well with Mark Greif’s Against Exercise.
May 2, 2024
Top Recs from @florinegrassenhopper
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⏰No screen Sundays. If I want to listen to music its CDs or radio. If I want to watch a movie, no I don’t. If I want to see a friend, I will make plans with them on Friday or Saturday to meet up. As a result, I read more, write more, and sit with questions like “did Citizen Kane‘s 50 year winning streak in the Sight and Sound critics choice survey end in 2012 or 2022? When did Stephen Merritt come out? Whats the etymology of Whitsun?“
This is something that I have practiced off and on for many years but I’ve been doing it every week since December and I love the way that it just allows me one day of true freedom and rest.
This is something that I have practiced off and on for many years but I’ve been doing it every week since December and I love the way that it just allows me one day of true freedom and rest.
Jan 22, 2025
Mar 3, 2025
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My calendar this year has 52 of these week at a glance pages but I don’t think that way. So, I've been inspired by Ross Gay’s Book of Delighs to start recording the little moments and sensations that bring me joy throughout the day. An analog pi.fyi, if you will.
heres some of what I have so far:
- Waking up to the sound of my upstairs neighbor‘s footstep. It sounded nostalgic. Felt like company.
- Strawberry jam
- feeling tender for strangers: their lips, nail colors, their small wrists. Thinking of all the lives we hold gently.
- A young girl bought an LP at the bookstore just before I left. She stroked its cover with love
- Green tiles —the mint shade always makes me think of Jancie
- Charlie’s little bop and punch dancing to some German language punk - lunch with Katherine, curry Brussels sprouts
- small talk at the photo studio. The photographer's brother was named after their dad, stole his identity, bought jet skis.
heres some of what I have so far:
- Waking up to the sound of my upstairs neighbor‘s footstep. It sounded nostalgic. Felt like company.
- Strawberry jam
- feeling tender for strangers: their lips, nail colors, their small wrists. Thinking of all the lives we hold gently.
- A young girl bought an LP at the bookstore just before I left. She stroked its cover with love
- Green tiles —the mint shade always makes me think of Jancie
- Charlie’s little bop and punch dancing to some German language punk - lunch with Katherine, curry Brussels sprouts
- small talk at the photo studio. The photographer's brother was named after their dad, stole his identity, bought jet skis.
Jan 13, 2025