๐๏ธ
My grandmother got dementia this past year and for months I was scared to go up to visit her because she felt distant, and I didn't really know how to talk to someone with dementia.
Eventually I got over myself and started visiting her a couple times a week. Often she wouldn't know who I was, but her face always lit up whenever she saw me that it didn't matter in the end.
One day, I was helping her walk to her room to lay down, when she looked at me with such alertness in her eyes and started asking me all about how my job was doing, stories she remembers about me, and telling me how she feels in her day to day. We talked for almost an hour like this before she lapsed back into a more confused state.
Looking back, I realized that must have been the most I talked to her in one sitting and although that filled me with a lot of regret and guilt, I am so grateful I got the chance to connect with her before it was too late.
She's in a nursing home now, and doesn't recognize me anymore, and that's okay.
2d ago
Related Recs
I always take the winding two lane mountain road home from work, itโs 8 minutes longer and so much prettier than the interstate. I see longhorn cows, sheep, goats, fluorescent red sugar maples.
Yesterday I took a trip to visit my grandmothers grave with my mother and my 101 year old grandpa. Over a century later, he still remembers every old road and scenic back way to get around, who lived in what house, where they worked, who were friends, enemies, and lovers. He told me stories about every nook and cranny in that tiny town nestled among the Blue Ridge.
Building the church on the corner of the graveyard and using popcorn in the mortar which got so hot it popped. Exploring the flour mill with his friends which today is a miniature museum of the town history. How he and his fellow boy scouts used buckets and shovels to help fight the raging fire that spread across the mountain range. He showed me the railroad his father was a pipefitter on and the few blocks he walked to work, the corner their little dog would wait dutifully for his whistle to come running after hearing the work bell every evening. He sang me the song about catfish they used to sing while bathing in the calm river in the summer months, the same river that claimed the life of his brother in law.
I miss the city and our friends, but I know we have so much time to make our own stories in the decades to come. I feel so blessed that I have him in my life and to be living again in my hometown to hear these stories and so many others. I am so grateful that he gets to spend time with my husband and celebrate the joining of our families.
If youโre lucky enough to have a grandparent or any elder in your life, give them a call or pay them a visit and let them tell you stories, even the ones youโve heard before. Ask questions about what it was like when they were your age and tell them how much you love them.
Nov 2, 2024
๐
living with your grandmother
for any parasocial bitch that could possibly gaf
and knows about niche internet celebs like me:)
i took the semester off because of my brain and im living w my grandmother in the city in the smallest state of the world.
my grandmother is loud and asks me uncomfortable questions but Im going to blame it on her age and not get angry
she has so little time
they were talking abt alzeimhers meds at dinner and I really hope I donโt get it
the man there was talking about his pastrami parties where they all get around the table and pick add the fresh peppery pastrami sizzling out of the oven
and how his father used to make pastrami in Brooklyn
and that he had a pastrami business
anyway
an elderly woman just explained to me her peace and acceptance towards her own death
If I go I go she said
thinking why some people can go and be all peace and noncommittal
what luck
and privilege! to sacrifice your body and time to ur kids and ur husband and ur work and still have enough
to have a country and community that loves you
to be seen as worth peace even in death
Apr 12, 2024
๐ฆ
friendly reminder to check in on them if you have the capacity and a good relationship with them. i've been calling my grandma every other week since my grandpa passed and she's just happy to talk to someone and that someone thinks about her. i live far from her and i can't always visit but i'm just hoping these phone calls become an 'us' thing for her.
Mar 14, 2024
Top Recs from @greenbean39
๐ธ
the only reason i was out is bc i ran out of tortillas
a little bamboozled
Mar 20, 2025
๐
Especially when it's a sizeable one and you haven't read any books for months and months ( Just tore through Christopher Isherwoods 'Goodbye to Berlin' )
May 7, 2025
๐ผ
just bought my first truck. hes gorgeous and he only plays cassettes
yippee!
Mar 17, 2025