May 17, 2025
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Remember that, smart alecks!
Some more of my core guiding principles around this idea:
Truth and fact are two sides of the same coin.
They are interconnected but not interchangeable.
On a similar note:
Truth is complex and often paradoxical.
If you think you can lay it out in black and white terms, sorry bud – you don’t have a handle on it. The capacity to hold space for seemingly conflicting ideas is essential. That means letting go of the idea that your truth is the truth.
Critique something/someone only from a place of understanding
^ did a whole rec on this. To add to it: if you spend a lot of time criticizing those who you disagree with, whose benefit is it for? Mainly it’s a signifier to those who you do agree with that you’re part of the same in-group. That’s fine and it has its place, but constructively challenging the views and behaviors of those within your own community (including yourself!) is much more valuable.
And on that note:
Understanding ≠ condoning
Most people skip the work of trying to truly understand because they’re afraid they’ll seem complicit. Say someone commits a violent crime. Trying to understand the familial, socioeconomic, and systemic circumstances that factored in – developing empathy for this person – does not mean you condone the behavior or that you care any less for the victim of their crime. You are not doing any good to the cause of peace of justice or whatever you claim to stand for by refusing to understand people (however fucked up and misguided they may be).
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Ok that’s long enough, maybe I’ll drop some fun ones in another post lol bye
Jul 17, 2024
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I am lucky to have had the circumstances in my life that has led me to question authority, not take things at face value, and to focus on building community to combat feelings of hopelessness. This has been long and arduous and only possible because I didn't have to deal with other resources in my life being scarce.
Scarcity creates a survival-mode and flight/fight/freeze/fawn are the ways people live within that mode. It is near impossible to think philosophically or critically when you are being provided scarcity.
I think there is some amount of innate desire of humans to be taken care of right? In an animalistic way. The unnatural and inhumane use of capitalism has for so many people created a gap within that desire of being taken care of and actually being taken care of.
I believe that the combination of this survival mode/fight-flight-etc. and the chasm that many people feel of that intense unmet desire to be taken care of has led to the situation that we find ourselves in today. These people were not born to be these fearful, distrustful, paranoid, cagey people. They were babies who needed to be taken care of. They were babies and children who, through circumstances outside of their control, were not taken care of. Yes, as adults they "should" be able to make better decisions and how one grows up "shouldn't" dictate what they do to others. But that's an easy thing to say when you have those resources and have *no idea* what it feels like to have not had them. This is pretty much a mixture of the other responses, because compassion and knowing that people are hurting is basically what makes me not mad at them. I get frustrated and I wish the circumstances were different, and I will defend myself or others if need be from violent behavior, but I do not hate these people. I am mad at the selfishness that has been able to be bred in this society through hundreds of years.
Jan 28, 2025
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I fully acknowledge my privilege this recommendation. I have the privilege to be able to build bridges because, though I am able to be dismissed because I'm a femme-presenting woman, I am much less viscerally threatened in general because I am white.
That being said, I feel like I have turned a new leaf in that I largely refuse to contribute to in-fighting discussions. In my mind, we are all in a race against the 1% but they have tricked us into thinking we are in a race with each other. I have decided to let go of the race. I have decided that whether they fear, pity, hate, whatever me, I'm going to value "the opposition" as people and when they are able to figure out who we should be actually fighting, I will be there happy to provide resources and supplies that I have in the aid of this goal. Until then, I'll be around.
The isolation that has been bred since long before I was born has just destroyed a sense of community, something that I yearn so much for. I know that people do things that bring me harm. For instance, I still take many COVID precautions and am part of two COVID safe communities. However, I know that the large majority of the population no longer cares and does, unwillingly or not, participate in a lack of overall health safety for me and my family, as well as their own safety. But I'm not going to isolate, I'm going to take precautions to continue to be part of community. I believe folding people in together is the only way forward.
My brother is a huge fan of Elon Musk, which is so gross and awful. I used to shut down conversations about this but I've decided to be open, honest, and present with him about this. I check Elon's behavior to him, let him know that I believe his actions are on purpose and that my brother is making nazi sympathizer choices with his thoughts and actions. I also let him know that when it's ready to fight, I want him to be on our side, which he states he would be (idk). That's all I can do. Keep communication open. Keep connection open. Make these sympathizers not fear "the others" because I am willing to participate and provide and talk.
Now, none of this means I'm willing to lay down as terrible beliefs ravage our society. I am still able to be critical of others choices and I will defend myself and my family against harm if need be. I just believe that the core of most of the harm and violence comes from the top. I believe that people are emotionally thrown for a loop when they come to a conversation with fear-based hostility and find community-based hospitality in response.
I will continue to advocate for the people who are being brutalized our community. I believe, however, that they need to hear us first. They need to see us as human, and I think part of that is showing them that we see them as human. Yes, flawed scared scapegoating humans that need to be held responsible for their actions if and when they participate in violence. I'm not talking about conceding or finding "common ground" in our beliefs beyond the basic humans need food water shelter (and love if they're about that). I may acknowledge their fear, the influences that they have been under, and the things surround their hate. I will try to come at it at as loving as a place as I can, always reminding myself that they were once babies shaped to view the world as this big scary thing filled with monsters, taught by the actual monsters who want to control everything.
Again, I'm only recommending this if you have the energy to do so. I think a lot of people have tried for years and then get burned out. I get that, I think getting stronger within your own community would help grow the ability to then reach outside and communicate. At the same time, my friend and I were talking about how some people are just "front of house" and some are "back of house" and the front of house people can be the ones interacting with society and the back of house can build the inside. We don't all have to do everything, let's find out strengths and build on those to get through, and maybe even past, the shit show we find ourselves living in today.
Jan 31, 2025
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