I get it, I also faced the same situation. Excelling at academics as a kid, sets you up to fail as an adult.
This might sound harsh, but ultimately no one's going to come save you.
No one's going to give you life changing advice, or offer you a reset button.
My advise is to just live, start small, do the little things.
Make pancakes, go on a walk, feed the birds, do the things that make you feel alive, you know?
Somedays, you're just going to be able to get out of bed, and that's more than enough.
You have a lot ahead of you, do let one bad time ruin it all.
With love- Cherie