😵💫
Since the start of the year I have started to feel stagnant in my position in life, but at the same time, I feel like I’m slowly learning to become myself. As time progresses I’m realising that I want to become weirder.
Maybe not weirder specifically but I’m done with being conventional. I look at the clothes in my wardrobe and nothing sparks within me. It’s all the basic same old same old. In a time where our world is leaning back to conservatism and a traditionalist mentality, I want to lean into my queerness. I want to make more people uncomfortable than I ever have before. I want to evolve.
my only problem is that I have no idea where to begin.
But I can feel it beginning. And I’m ready to see where I go. If you have any suggestions of things I could do or places I could buy clothes (aussie 😝😝) or feel even slightly similar, I’d love to hear what you have to say 💘
1d ago
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(long winded yap sesh incoming apologies)
i spent waaaay too long a time being spooked by the mere thought of being perceived, and so i tried to blend into whatever group i was meant to believe i should fit into. i honestly think my fashion sense now is a combination of, like, quasi-exposure therapy, bc when you're walking around like a birthday clown u kinda just have to get used to people looking at u, and all that built up frustration with trying to fit in finally being let out, aka me finally just wearing what makes me happy
and i think it's easy to tell bc most of my influences are the things that make me the most happy. obviously there's the color palettes that give very cartoon character, but also i love color coordination and matching sets that also feels in that same vein, also very kitschy
also i wear my real life fashion influences on my sleeve. missy elliott and andre 3000 have always meant a lot to me, but also janelle monae, raja, tierra whack, rihanna, zendaya, grace jones, cl (all of 2ne1 tbh), lady gaga, shea couleé, gwendoline christie, beyoncé, jonte' moaning, etc. and etc. even in my most lowkey outfits, the influences still kinda peek through
but i'm also very influenced by my queerness, and queer culture in general. i think one of the hardest things about having to "fit it" was that i always felt like i had to embody a very cis/heteronormative of what femininity is, and that's just not me (maybe i'm just talking out of my ass, but i feel like there's sort of an understanding that there are differences between queer femininity and cisheteronormative femininity. like if i dress feminine the way that i want to dress feminine, it's not the kind that like a straight guy would want/expect from me). i think it's also just a universal experience that, when u grow up queer, anything that feels like it could accidentally "out" u feels scary, and honestly it feels like i wanna make up for all that time being scared. like, be the person younger me needed back then, y'know? the parts of my life that have made me feel the most me are the queerest; drag, theatre, ballroom culture, dance in general, and that feels more true to who i am
so yeah, idk it's not really like trends for me it's just what makes me happy. tee el dee dubz big princess dress at the grocery store energy
May 6, 2024
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comfort has been my main focus since i was a toddler & i’m trying to honor that intuition in adulthood. i want to feel comfortable in my own skin & wardrobe, which is a challenge as a bigger woman raised in purity culture & fashion as vanity. i’m still most comfortable in modest looks & don't see that changing. the quality & texture of fabric is important to me as well. i don’t like anything that tugs or clings in an irritating way.
i’m also pragmatic so i want functional clothing that will last & i'm trying to build my mending & maintenance skills. i love leather shoes & bags, they’re so warm & classic & durable. i love buying thrifted things that have some life in them already. i love having one-of-a-kind pieces that i can make my own.
i often feel stuck between wanting to express myself through style & wanting to be as nondescript as possible. i like the validation of a good fit but also hate making an entrance. sometimes i’ll put together a look i love & then i’ll swap out one of the elements to ruin it cuz i feel too intimidated. i don’t know if this is because of social anxiety or body image issues or my feelings of not belonging throughout childhood. maybe this is my way of avoiding distraction so i can be present with the people around me.
aesthetics-wise, i love dressing like a fun auntie sometimes (typically in spring/summer) & other times i want to lean more masc with edgy streetwear looks (fall/winter). unique prints are a must, rich earth & jewel tones, classic & sturdy footwear, handcrafted jewelry with a story behind it. idk how to weave together these competing energies of warmth & playfulness, stifled rebellion & hesitant individuality. still trying to identify what i like & give myself space to explore & express that!
May 9, 2024
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Putting on clothes is one of the few built- in ways to have fun and be creative in your life without going out of your way to pick up a hobby or pursue a creative passion or career. It’s how you start your day, every day. So take advantage of it! So much of life is about practicality, because the implications of risk-taking have real impacts on your life – makes sense. Exploring and taking “risks” with your style is a fairly low-stakes way to break from that a bit and let loose.¹ Now, I’m not saying you should go from full norm-core to runway fashion. But for god’s sake, it wouldn’t kill you to try on a couple statement pieces and see what magic may happen! Picking from a stable of staples is boring, like eating the same meal every day. Sure, that meal might be comfortable and filling, but is it FULfilling? So many people make up rules for themselves (“this color isn't good on me”) and they end up arbitrarily limiting themselves.² If you like the color, it can look good on you!
Now if you wanna dabble, try getting a themed party going. It’s easier to take the plunge when everyone else is doing it, and it’s almost impossible not to have fun dressing up in something novel. Try thrifting with a friend that is either already more exploratory than you or open to changing things up. It’s fun as hell to try stuff on, even if you don’t buy anything! Also, hot tip for the people who wear “men’s” clothes… the women’s section is way better!³ So much more variety in style, shape, fabric, etc.
I was going to write more but I’m sick as a dog right now. In conclusion, have fun ♥️
P.S. This is in no way a personal dig at anyone who has a Superman closet. Just trying to encourage those who might wanna take a bolder step!
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¹The degree of this is certainly dependent on who you are, where you are – what pressures you’re facing.
²These types of rules may be culturally-imposed and personally internalized, so no shame there.
³This may be more restrictive for bigger bois, which points to an issue in women’s wear: they don’t make nearly as much variety in larger sizes, which is bullshit 🫤
May 5, 2024
Top Recs from @wonggordonn
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I just downloaded and I’m scrolling thru everyone’s cute comments and posts in hopes of talking to more people because I feel like I don’t socially interact enough 😛.
1d ago
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Why is dancing not more common? Bad dancing, good dancing, stupid dancing. It’s so freeing to just move to music especially with other people. i guess everyone wants to be nonchalant now :(
17h ago
Because when I give all of myself to the people around me and feel sorrow for their pain, yet receive nothing but dismissal, I realise that all my sympathy is just a knife
1d ago