it's a cliche for a reason. if you meet people through a shared hobby you're guaranteed to have at least one thing you can talk about with them, and that can be the jumping off point for the entire friendship.
also, friendship is kind of like money in the sense that it's much easier to get more once you have a little bit. once you're part of a "scene" or whatever you can just kind of play social hopscotch by fluidly jumping from function to function and relying on your existing friends to introduce you to new ones. making your fifth friend is much, much easier than making your first - speaking from experience as an anxiety-ridden indoor cat
5d ago
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I love basing my friendships around things I like to do, and having an allocated person to do that with, also having a process / routine that this thing happens around. Like a tiny religious procession of two.
E.g. : one friend is my coffee and a walk friend, another is a person I only exclusively hang out with to eat tacos once a month, a third friend to only go to cinema screenings with, another friend will join me for exercise classes and we usually get dinner afterwards.
I like this approach to friendship in general because it’s less pressure to have to come up with new things to do, and if you stagger time well then you always have things to do and people to see.
Aug 20, 2024
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I love meeting people and then making an effort to become one on one friends with them. Some of my best friends I’ve made in adulthood have been chance encounters where I decided i needed to learn more about that person and consequently sought them out. These have blossomed into very fulfilling and creatively inspiring friendships. I don’t tend to work very well in friendship groups so this is the model that I have found works for me.
Nov 11, 2024
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the slow burn version of making friends. like for real friends. it's a very wholesome and gradual process that reminds you how sacred it is to meet someone you vibe with just by virtue of showing up to a place often and lingering to chat. i'm gonna come by just to say hi not necessarily to buy something now. let's make some plans. tell me your life story in a piecemeal sort of way i wanna know
Feb 1, 2024
Top Recs from @dotmatrices
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it is your civic duty to mercilessly mock generative ai users as much as possible
Jan 18, 2025
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spent the last two weeks working on an interactive guide, recommendations database, and digital library (link depot) to help get people off of social media. the first draft is done now, and it's at the link to this post.
it's still very much a work in progress (the library is especially thin atm) - which is why i wanted to share it here before unleashing it upon my IRL friends and the general public. i welcome any and all feedback, bug reports, and suggestions for things to add. i will be pushing updates to it out like a madman in the coming weeks, so be sure to check back every so often to see new additions to the database and library.
additionally, i am still on the hunt for newsletters from local venues / community organizations / magazines / newspapers, etc. the only cities i have remotely covered so far are nyc, orlando, denver, brisbane, and little bits of worcester and chicago. if you know anything in your area that fits the bill, send it my way!
Jan 27, 2025
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chronological feeds on social media are a dying breed and it's so important to maintain the ones you still have
Apr 7, 2025