First time flying alone at 18 years old. I had just been dropped off and was dozing off in the TSA line. I was wearing jorts and I had forgotten a bobby pin in the pocket. Cut to me getting a genital patdown in front of everyone in the entire airport. Felt like that John Mulaney bit where he just leans over for a colonoscopy because he's trying to get prescription xanax
May 28, 2025
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they were training the british tsa that day and bc i got to the airport so early, pulled me aside for the training line but in doing so one tsa agent had directed me to the training line and the other to his own line and the two literally ARGUED about where i was supposed to go 😭
then in the training line, i set something off so they had to swab my hands and pat me down. and as if that wasn’t enough, they had someone in training not very supervised search my bag. she emptied ALL the pockets in my backpack, thoroughly swabbing inside each of them. people were staring!!! and when she turned to her supervisor asking if that was good he told her it was “more than enough”
then i had to face the chaos of the terminal’s waiting area which has a weird layout and not enough seats. i was dealing w a recent painful knee injury, but they only told you your gate 15-20 minutes ahead and i was worried i’d miss my flight so i had to go to my airline’s help desk and ask about it. it turns out they already know all the gates anyways they just don’t tell people ??? then on the flight there was a baby who scream-cried the entire time whose mom did little to help them. which is not heathrow’s fault but was the cherry on top
May 27, 2025
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i just saw the cutest boy ever in the lax tsa line. he was wearing jorts. looking like he had a bushwick sublet waiting for him. so i really hoped he’d be on my flight. but alas, two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and he took the one less traveled by
Jul 9, 2024
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Okay so I definitely left my carry on at tsa and the plane left without me and now I have to wait 12 extra hours to go home. I took 4 Benadryls and I’m hoping airport mania kicks in and I enter a groundhogs day scenario where I remember my bag and successfully board the plane
Jan 21, 2024
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i may have spent a sinister amount of time here today but better with you folk than in the wild west of short form video content….
May 21, 2025
they really have this whole life thing figured out
May 20, 2025
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i have 200,000 plays on soundcloud because i made an ambient track when i was 15 and clickbait titled it "sex noises". dozens of comments going "wheres the sex". what a strange impact to have made on the world and i am locked out of the account forever
May 16, 2025