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Why would I be anorexic when I can walk, work out 3–4 times a week, play tennis or padel on the weekends, and eat healthy—just like my amazing nutritionist mom, taught me?
Having an eating disorder is for miserable people, and I’m NOT miserable anymore.
I think being anorexic in your 20’s is sad, I already have various chronic illnesses and problems from it, take care of your body it’s a temple, you can look however you want in a healthy way. ♥️ I hate seeing millenials glamourizing anorexia and then complaining about how they can’t have babys, or forgetting to mention the horrible parts that come with it…I want to be a mother one day, run around with my child and break all the negative patterns I had to suffer, I wanna grow old, healthy and fabulous, anorexia is not the way, Recovery is real. Sending love to you all.
1d ago
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Proud of you for working toward recovery!!! I was struggling a lot in high school and have body image and food issues going back about as far as I can remember. It’s really tough a lot of the time but you can do it!! An easier life in a larger body beats living in a smaller body but physically struggling through the day, any day of the week 💪
1d ago
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I HAVE NOT ACCOMPLISHED THIS BUT IT IS CERTAINLY SOMETHING I AM MEGA INTO THESE DAYS. REHAB-ESQ MENTALITY AND ALL THAT. ACTUAL REHAB SUCKED BEYONDDDDDD AND I HAD TO DROP OUT BUT I'M MAKING PROGRESS! I DONT HAVE ANYTHING PROFOUND TO SAY BUT I REALLY ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO JUST EMBRACE LE PROCESS AND STOP DRIVING THEMSELVES INSANE. IM SORRY TO DISAPPOINT THE ED GIRLS ONLINE WHO LOVE MY PROANNA PHOTOS AND I DONT MIND IF THEY STILL USE THEM BUT IM O.V.E.R. IT! YEARS OF ANOREXIA HAS DESTROYED MY BOOBS AND BULIMIA HAS REALLY TRIED TO RUIN MY EFFING LIFE. BULIMIA HAD ME LIVING LIKE HOWARD HUGHES AT THE END OF HIS LIFE MINUS THE MORMON BUTLERS.
Feb 8, 2023
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TW: weight n overeating mentions
Sorry everyone!! I guess I am on a streak of being a debbie downer rn. It just kind of feels like the walls are caving in on me but doesn't everyone feel like that????? I am just feeling super crazy and over-reactive recently. Here is the run down of my situation right now: I am nineteen years old, currently on winter break for community college, I live with family, I'm still working on my license. I just have feel so trapped recently, most likely because I don't have my license (fml). I haven't seen most of my friends in a month (which feels very weird, not blaming anyone for this. people get busy & tired, I understand.)
Living with family sucks! but it's weird, my parents support me financially and i know they care for me but I think I am just too emotional for the people I live with. I kind of learned to not really speak about emotional matters, not in like a, my parents were abusive kind of way, but I could just tell that wasn't really what my parents were there for. I sought out emotional connections with friends and stuff but I have been kind of going through a weird period right now where I am trying to not rely on them so much and regulate by myself i guess? idk.
ANYWAYS, LETS GET DOWN TO THE NITTY GRITTY! What is the reasoning of my crashout? wellllll, my mother has been becoming increasingly critical of my looks again. I've always had a skin-picking and overeating problem. The result of this? so. many. facial scars. and also being extremely overweight for how ever long I could remember. (from the handful of times I've been to therapy, I was told these are probably compulsions to sooth anxiety? idk. I need to go to more sessions). Over the years, I have learned to accept myself and how I look. Through this acceptance, I have also been working on these issues. Unfortunately, my mom hasn't accepted this part of me. My mom and I have been spending a loootttttt of time together recently because she's teaching me how to drive and I have just been home alone with her more. I've come to a realization that looks mean a lot to her, (it's not her fault honestly, Filipino beauty standards are unfortunately super brutal).
So, throughout my life, shes always had me drinking weird supplements and trying different gimicky products to either lighten my skin or have me shed a couple pounds, surprisingly, none of them ever worked! We've had our fair share of fights about my appearances and whatnot, it stopped affecting me. Buttt, like I said before, I'm in this weird period of my life right now where I am trying to heal and whatever and be at least a little self sufficient (this is every nineteen year old girl of me, I know). So I'm doing my skincare daily now, trying to eat my fruits and veggies, do chores, move my body, the whole shebang if you will. but old habits die hard, and from time to time I'm caught picking at my skin, or holy shit why am i changing what i eat???? and yeah. Family is nice till they tease you about how you're trying to change for good and for some reason it is FUCKING EMBARRASSING! My mom asked me when I was gonna lose weight the other day. It was so random and out of the blue that it caught me completely off guard and really fucking got to me. After she said that I got quiet, and she said "It's okay. I don't care anyways." But like why the fuck would you say that??? She knows I've had a past with my weight and my eating habits. Like why the fuck would you say that to me?? I cried for hours that night. I even cried about it the days after. Then today, I was out with my sister and we were getting takeout for dinner tonight, I called my mom to see what she wanted, she told me what she wanted but she doesn't know the name of it so i got her a completely different thing. and she was like "i'll just cook something its okay. you'll eat it later" and I told her no, I just ate dinner I am not eating anything else tonight, and she just went "Ohh really? Ok good. You're trying to get skinny. That's good." GOD. FUCKING. DAMN IT!!!! My sister tried to tell her off "Mommmm, don't say that." but she just kept going, "What? Why not? How is that bad. Why is it bad she's trying to lose weight." I kind of shut down and started putting stuff away. I threw out the trash and just couldn't stop crying outside so I just stormed off into my room because the waterworks were unfortunately starting for the night. It was made worse by the fact that I could hear her talking to my sister about me. I know it's for the better that I am not so emotionally cold anymore but god, I just wish I could tough out the comments still.
But that's the end of this post, I'll post something less edgy and less sad soon I promise!!!!!
Jan 9, 2025
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(warning: serious post)
Even if it’s hard. Body image stuff always creeps back in as the weather warms up and clothes shrink, and I was sitting here letting myself feel hungry. But I checked Instagram and a long time online friend is most likely dying soon from anorexia and I’m feeling a lot of emotions about it. Getting up to go find something solid and filling to eat in her honor and I hope you do the same. It’s rough out here, especially when stuff is really deep-rooted but I will always rec eating over not, even if I momentarily forget what a good rec that is 💛
12h ago
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stop hoarding shit u don’t need, open space for the new … my roomie made me let go of these candle prayer candles because i wanted to acumulate like 100, in reality they are gathering dust and it would have taken a loong time … ready for new things to come <3 god bless
May 21, 2025
My name is Ana Cecilia, after my grandmother, María Cecilia.
My mom added “Ana” to make it feel more contemporary, classic with a modern touch.
It comes from Saint Cecilia, the patron saint of music and musicians. She was a Roman martyr who, according to legend, heard heavenly music in her heart even in the face of death.
My dad has played guitar since he was 12: at home, in church, so music has always been part of my world.
I love sharing a name with my grandma. Cecilia means “little blind one,” which feels poetic—like seeing with the soul.
Honestly, I really love my name. It carries history, music, and love. And I’m also blind so it makes sense lol.
6d ago
6d ago