Related Recs

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Understanding the disconnect DOESN'T make you any less of an ally

I just had a disgusting conversation w a rich privileged white woman about systemic racism and her calling me racist for me never having the rich white women in my past relationships understand my perspective as a Black/Hispanic person in america. This person has been my close friend since middle school and I’ve ignored her ignorance for yeeeeeaaaarrrssss but today i completely blacked on her. her privilege and disconnect w reality & the current political state of the world couldn’t be excused anymore. She might just need to rot in her mansion alone while watching me exceed her privilege.

@pnizzard

Jan 28, 2024

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smart ≠ wise

Remember that, smart alecks! Some more of my core guiding principles around this idea: Truth and fact are two sides of the same coin. They are interconnected but not interchangeable. On a similar note: Truth is complex and often paradoxical. If you think you can lay it out in black and white terms, sorry bud – you don’t have a handle on it. The capacity to hold space for seemingly conflicting ideas is essential. That means letting go of the idea that your truth is the truth. Critique something/someone only from a place of understanding ^ did a whole rec on this. To add to it: if you spend a lot of time criticizing those who you disagree with, whose benefit is it for? Mainly it’s a signifier to those who you do agree with that you’re part of the same in-group. That’s fine and it has its place, but constructively challenging the views and behaviors of those within your own community (including yourself!) is much more valuable. And on that note: Understanding ≠ condoning Most people skip the work of trying to truly understand because they’re afraid they’ll seem complicit. Say someone commits a violent crime. Trying to understand the familial, socioeconomic, and systemic circumstances that factored in – developing empathy for this person – does not mean you condone the behavior or that you care any less for the victim of their crime. You are not doing any good to the cause of peace of justice or whatever you claim to stand for by refusing to understand people (however fucked up and misguided they may be). ——— Ok that’s long enough, maybe I’ll drop some fun ones in another post lol bye

@solomonki

Jul 17, 2024

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anti-rec / pet peeve — Mind reading

It really cheeses me off when people think they know what others are thinking or what makes them tick or what their motivations are for something. Recently heard someone say, "Oh the whole reason 'Brad' did good at [this thing] is because he got social validation from his success." And I said, "Oh really, did Brad tell you that?" And of course the answer was no, Brad never said that. It was just a great big assumption about Brad's motives—and a negative assumption at that. You contain multitudes. I contain multitudes. We contain multitudes. We are right now the living, breathing, growing sum of a trillion different factors. It is far more interesting and fulfilling to be curious and ask and be surprised than to project our narrow, limited assumptions on others. (apparently this is a bit of a theme for me today since I already posted about it in another form) And if you find yourself mind reading and assuming and putting others in a box, then you know what, no worries! Me too sometimes. But let's not stay there.

@mattshawsome

Oct 19, 2024

Top Recs from @chronicwebuser

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GETTING RID OF THE STAR COUNT

@TYLER please let us be free from the commodification of the data generated from our social, whimsical, and sincere, free expression the sincerity of this app is because it’s different from those other apps :/ why do we need metrics on how we socialize? 🫩🫩🫩🫩😮‍💨😮‍💨 i’m curious as much as i am sad about the decision to make the star count visible. is that what its proper name is? or are we calling it likes? 👀

@chronicwebuser

Apr 23, 2025

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BEING PERFECTLY IMPERFECT

to me being perfectly imperfect means sincerely expressing the full range of human emotions in community with all y’all the positive and negative and every emotion in-between living is messy, thanks for witnessing my mess

@chronicwebuser

May 17, 2025

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not yearning

i've been seeing piffies posting about, and I myself, have experienced The Yearn. i've sat with my feelings about relationships through many seasons. i was with someone for 10 yrs, we got engaged, i broke it off. although he was an incredible person, he was not my soulmate. i've had a few relationships since then and have felt The Yearn. after being dumped this weekend i have some thoughts to ask myself when looking at dating / The Yearn. 1 -- are you seeking connection or attention? 2 -- is your relationship an excuse for you to not work on other parts of yourself you know you need to take time to face? 3 -- how are your friendships? do you have people behind you that will see you through any season? keep those people around FOREVER. maybe marry them instead.... lmao 😳 4 -- have you dated yourself? was it full of joy and love? 5 -- can you (within reason - we can NOT exist and heal with out each other) meet your own needs and care for yourself? 6 -- how honest are you with yourself? you'll only ever be able to be that honest with other people, no matter the relationship. 7 -- are you just trying to follow a story arc that you *think* you *should* follow? see link: relationship escalator my goals right now are to build up a family of people that will be with me forever! it's not a ton of people but it's enough! if i find a "soulmate" or "love of my life" along the way then like... nice 😃👍 but like that's not my GOAL. if you are young and reading this, i wish i knew in my 20s (am 31) what i am writing in this post. i g2g tho ~ ily, be well!

@chronicwebuser

Mar 17, 2025