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The deeper into my own art and true essence i get, the stickier the grief moves. Godddddddd RELEASEEEEE MEEEEEE. Choosing myself will pay off soon. I just have to swim through a lot of bullshit.
Related Recs
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love myself, the choices I make, the people I let into my life and the lessons I learn
I want to start doing things that center what brings me joy and not what is necessarily expected of me, I feel like I get trapped on the misery wheel, when I am consistently making choices that are not good for me but do not know how to effectively take back my agency.
I feel like if I loved myself a bit more maybe then I would not feel like I deserve to be on the wheel at all, maybe I could feel like I can build my own wheel, a better wheel, a wheel built with love
May 29, 2024
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So much of what I'm proud of has been inner work that isn't always noticeable on the outside. Recently I've been given a beautiful opportunity that brought up a lot of fear in me, which I've been through enough to realize that it was based on past hurt or taking on other people's opinions as a kind of judgemental character in my head. I'm so grateful to have the support of people in my life that helped me talk through what was going on. My husband, one of the best people in the whole world imho, shared with me that developing Self (the true, unique you) is recognizing when fear is just fear, and doing it despite that. Each time we are able to do that, our true self gets stronger and stronger.
Since I worked through that I've had so much more energy in my day to day life. It's like I slowly was becoming buried without even realizing it. I've learned that the goal in growing isn't necessarily to change, but rather to become more and more our true selves. It's a constant process. Barnacles attach, and we work to notice and remove them so we can swim smoothly.
May 27, 2025
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I think continually asking why you want something can help with this. When you do, you may realize the āitā you want is rooted in other people: how theyāll perceive you, if youāll be accepted by them, etc. The older Iāve gotten Iāve been better at untangling some of my desires from the ego and I think it has lead to better self-satisfaction of where I am at and where I am going. itās also allowed me to ālet goā of some dreams. Thatās sounds negative or sad but I donāt mean it so: sometimes you white-knuckle-grip an idea of yourself so hard that it destroys you! I think āletting goā doesnāt mean things wonāt happen, it means they donāt have to and that pressure alleviation can make all the difference.
Thatās not to say to never let the drive of the ego take overā¦Iām not sure we would create art/great things without it. I guess what Iām saying is that knowing the root of our desires is a key to balance and self-assuredness.
Feb 18, 2025
Top Recs from @wishing-well222
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you want to do it right
to earn ur points n get ahead
but u cant cheat progression by impressing the oppressor
do it ugly messy wrongĀ
do it humanĀ
6d ago
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Iām done swatting mosquitos away. Take my blood take my itches. Bleed my skin dry. Tie me up. Iām done resisting.
6d ago
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wake up the parts of u that have been shutdown or hiding. not bc the threat has gone away but because you have grown into your own protector. your discernment has aged. your light has skills and wisdom now. you know how to transmute shutdown into sovereignty
Jun 1, 2025