I was in love with my best friend for 11 years and never told him. We'd grown up together and despite being hopelessly delusional and maybe thinking there was something there at some points of our friendship, I could tell I felt for him far more than he did for me.
I never told anyone because I was horrendously embarrassed to admit that I'd liked someone for THAT LONG. So, I wrote him a letter. I told him everything, down to every specific detail and also every reason why I'd then come to dislike him (due to various other friendship-group-breakup reasons) I never sent it, it was just for me to read every time I needed a slap on the face because I needed to STOP thinking about him every waking moment of the day. It also helped me get out of my head about it all since I'd never spoken to anyone else about it and the only person I wanted to talk to about it was him...
Anywayyyyy, I eventually got over it (yay) it just sometimes takes a while to forget about those kinds of feelings. I'm sorry you're going through this right now, but I know you'll be okay in the end :) ❤️