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are you picking flowers to give to people you love to ‘prove that you’re a gardener’, and then wondering why your garden is so empty?
here are some of my thoughts on what it means to cultivate self and environment in a way where you’re both still blooming :)
in a world in constant competition to “show up“, how often are you showing up for yourself? recently i’ve found myself at a social plateau where i have slowly melded into the things and people i love. and while this is lovely, it’s a great reminder that an evening of hammocking alone on the mountain or riding your bike somewhere new is not indicative of a state of ‘lack’, but rather a state of self fulfillment and ’being’. tell someone you love them today and then keep that feeling with you as you walk the river alone, or go to work alone, or drive around to your favorite song! <3
17h ago
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i see solitude as metamorphosis. you need that time in the cocoon to really check in with yourself and the joy of that comes from how you'll gain a deeper understanding of yourself.
sometimes i spend SO much time with myself that i get SO BORED that I HAVE to venture outside of myself. when i say venture, i mean challenging myself in how i self- express which will in turn, nourish my interactions with others when i choose to seek company.
proceeding to create art, but trying new methods. going down youtube rabbit holes of things i am interested in so i can discover new references. cooking a meal without following a recipe and surprising myself. making the space i am in super cosy (candles, snacks on deck, music, blankets) going on long walks and picking up conversations with strangers through shared observations of life around us. watching music festivals/boiler rooms and dancing around my room like a mad man.
once you feel comfortable in being by yourself, you'll be more aware of what you need from your company and when you seek it, you'll be a lot more intentional about it and cherish it even more.
Oct 7, 2024
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A little personal, but being non-binary, I grew up very dissociated from my body and my time, so I don’t remember a good chunk of my formative years and have retained none of my hobbies. Recently tho, I have been trying to piece myself back together, so I have been spending a lot of time on my own. Another thing about me is that I have crushes everywhere I go, so I spend a lot of time loving others. After breaking-up with an ex that made me feel very neglected qnd unappreciated, I decided that I was going to give myself as much love and attention as I give my crushes and lovers. This has changed me.
I just let myself feel my feelings and get carried away by them. I get myself little treats and flowers, I get myself little treats and gifts. I organize little fun dates/plans for myself where I engage in new hobbies. Small manageable things that don’t feel too overwhelming to learn, like decorating Altoids tins with collage or journaling. By letting myself navigate the world through my feelings, I’ve discovered what I like, dislike, and developed little rituals and habits that I can then tell other about and share.
Social media has helped me that way, surprisingly. I treat my instagram like a scrap book and use it to document my feelings with shitposts and photos; the visual story telling makes me appreciate the little things. Pinterest allows me to collect things I like and develop a taste with no effort and no consequences, and I end up with huge pin boards full of pictures and art I love and that make me feel particular things I can name and explore. This app has been good for that too.
It takes time, love, self-compassion, and trust. Trust that the love others give you is legitimate. Trust that you are liked for a genuine reason. Trust that the mundane is magical by itself, love it for that. Trust that you don’t need to be special to be worthy of love, you can just be a person and that’s really cool <3
Mar 11, 2024
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i love being alone. i know who i am when i'm alone and i love myself when i'm alone. when i'm around people it's easy to forget and i get lost and aimless.
how do you share parts of yourself without feeling overexposed? even just sharing creative work makes me feel like it's not mine any more and makes me doubt the part of myself that went into making it. but i also feel so stagnant when i'm not putting anything out into the world. where is the balance? how do you deal with this?
Feb 24, 2025
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swing sets are sometimes the closest we get to flying. or maybe the heavens idk. sitting and pondering in front of a duck laden pond at sunset will revitalize you, or at the very least give you some clarity. trust.
Apr 26, 2025