The internet sucks ass for sharing nuanced ideas or having meaningful discourse, but it’s a wonderful tool for looking up the dumbest shit on Earth. I’ve been obsessed with “Smurfed Up” Eurodance for a while now. One of my faves of the genre is the German Smurfs (Die Schlümpfe) 1995 dance compilation Tekkno Ist Cool Vol. 1. It’s got iconic, high pitched, renditions of Cotton Eye Joe, Saturday Night, and No Limit, amongst various other Hi-NRG anthems. All in nasal Deutsch! I was extra shocked, not too long ago, to discover a variation on this record, also from 1995, by a sus, GREEN, Smurfs knock-off called Die Schlapse. The album’s called Let’s Go Tekkno. It offers basically the same covers but with a slightly different intonation and ‘tude. I don’t really know what’s going with ‘em but they do a wicked Cotton Eye Joe!