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I wanted to do this on purpose. As a woman I feel a lot of pressure from all around me to be constantly aware of my appearance. I frequently wish to be able to exist without constantly concerning myself about my appearance. I don’t consider myself someone who cares a lot about this in the first place. I don’t really wear makeup, I dress casually, not because these things are bad, but because thats just not how I choose to represent myself. I value so many things about myself and I believe that my physical appearance should fall LAST in line of my values. I value myself for being a critical thinker. And with being a critical thinker, you have to question the rhetoric that you, yourself believe. Why is it that I want to care less about my appearance? Why is it that when I look in the mirror at my new choppy blunt bangs I feel the need to justify them, to say they’re edgy, cute, they’re dakota Johnson joan of arc “core”. Why is it that I worry that my mother will see this as me spiraling. Is it so bad to look not perfect?
Jun 22, 2025
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I realized a few years ago that my desire and attempts to look a certain way were failing. It wasn’t realistic, and it was making me feel inauthentic, empty, and unhappy. Cameras capture every thing, so it’s easy to dwell on imperfections. But that’s not how people experience you. It’s not how others think about you or see you. Imagine how critical you are of yourself and imagine someone else being that critical of another person. You’d think there’s something wrong with them! Who focuses on a person’s looks that much! Get a life you misery!
That’s how we treat ourselves. There’s an epidemic happening where everyone wants and is going out and getting the same face. The same body. It’s so boring. Your “flaws”—as society has taught you to think about them—are not flaws. They make you unique. Memorable. They make you beautiful. To love yourself is active resistance in an economy fueled by obsession over flaws and unhappiness.
One of the actors in White Lotus, Aimee Lou Woods has some objectively flawed teeth. But that’s what makes her so unique, so special. So cute! They make her attractive because she’s unapologetic about them.
Embracing my big goofy smile and big ears and crinkled crows feet makes me feel comfortable in my own skin. That feeling is so powerful. It spreads to other parts of your life and attracts people to you. It’s how you carry yourself, how you move in the world, engage with other people— not how you look.
Mar 29, 2025
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I change my appearance multiple times a year. I cut my hair and dye it. I try new styles. I get tattoos and piercings. I try new food. I do things for ME. I want to find my true self and interests and each day I get closer to who I really want to be. I feel I learn something new about myself everyday even if it’s small. (I’m depressed + anxious too and it can be so hard but I remind myself that I can’t care about everyone else and their opinions I need to do what is right for me. and no it is not selfish to do things for you).
Apr 9, 2025
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I’ve been in the same boat. Since I was 13 I became really self conscious of my appearance, mainly due to other people’s comments, and then that was exacerbated from 16-18 during college because people got meaner for some reason. I felt terrible, and the lockdowns unexpectedly saved me as it gave me a break from all those people.
It made me realise I should only stick with people who like me for who I am, not how I look. Then ignore all those comments and ignore those people, make them feel awkward for saying those things if they do. Even if people aren’t saying comments, just think less of what others think of you.
You are what you are, don’t try to change your appearance just to please people who might not care much about you in the first place. Don’t let your appearance bring you down, ignore those annoying flaws and be more confident to outshine any imperfections you think you might have. Don’t be afraid to do things you enjoy and spend time with new people.
Ofc others may have different advice as my problems are either impossible to change or very difficult to, so I’ve learned to be content with how my body is, and just play with the hand I’ve been dealt (which unfortunately means I’m not perfect at this and for instance still wear more clothes than others during the summer). But I’m generally very happy now with lots of good friends who like me for who I am.
Jan 25, 2025
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I thought I’d have a nice little glass of milk and I spilled it everywhere, pillows, hardwood, INSIDE A PLUGGED IN OUTLET, my purse somehow??? Why the fuck to people say don’t cry over spilt milk. That is one of the most excusable reasons to cry.
Jun 22, 2025
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We need to have gogurt for more foods than just yogurt. How about gosoups please tomato soup in a sleeve please. Gorice, Gochilli, Gotiramasu, Goomelet, Gomashpotato, Goguacamole, Gooatmeal. Please give me more ideas
May 2, 2025
