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MY CAT ATE MY FUCKING OVID
Actually do not recommend that, just read ancient literature directly to ur cat, bc they dont have thumbs they cant flip through the book themselves
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@uptownloser
1d ago
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Comments (14)

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@happybruise
Sometimes it be like that idk πŸ˜…
23h ago
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@uptownloser
@HAPPYBRUISE he was HUNGRY for knowledge
19h ago
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@nekoplatonist
ask him what he thinks about hesiod
1d ago
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@uptownloser
@NEKOPLATONIST oh he stans the agricultural arts
19h ago
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@tortitude
Lolol my classics phd gf asks if your cat is Augustus reincarnated!
1d ago
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@uptownloser
@TORTITUDE im not one hundred percent sure, but believe you me the senate is planning SOMETHING for him next march I have no idea what:)) (i think its something exciting and good not involving several knives)
1d ago
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@cl0e
mine will cronch any texts in sight.. how do you help your cat curate literary tastes
1d ago
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@uptownloser
@CL0E he studied at Oxford, like a nerdΒ 
1d ago
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@cl0e
@CL0E fuck we went to public school of course this would happen
1d ago
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@taterhole
I had a rabbit that ate two Ayn Rand books and obviously he was right
1d ago
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@uptownloser
@TATERHOLE TWO?? ur rabbit really was giving hedonism just like our girl
1d ago
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@taterhole
@TATERHOLE it’s crazy the first was an essay collection I had bought at a used bookstore where I worked and the second was a copy of Atlas Shrugged I got for free because the library was getting rid of it!! Those are the only two books he ever destroyed he said NO OBJECTIVISM ON MY WATCH
1d ago
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😼
giving your cat opioids
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@coldlacroix
Jan 26, 2024
πŸ™€
not being afraid of the vacuum
recommending this to my cat
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@cilantro
May 26, 2024
🐾
*tap tap tapping on open laptops
just tapping away with no concern for what someone might have been doing on this laptop with all of these tabs open for hmmm maybe a research paper? better close some of those for good measure and maybe even just add a little ////////////////////////// in the middle of this paragraph and delete a word or two that they might not notice before submitting this thing. maybe i should just stretch on it too and rub my little paws back and forth for a little '/ophybtgv;'rfcedx]sw here and there. *this post has been approved by my cat
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@bizzybelle
Apr 22, 2024

Top Recs from @uptownloser

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πŸ˜ƒ
GET IN THE TRAIN CAR WITH NO AC
You'll look Dewey and sexy and also no one will be in the train car, and everytime someone says "oh my god its so hot you should switch cars" you can call them a pussy
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@uptownloser
1d ago
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I RECOMMEND YOU HAVE SEVERAL FAMILIES OF CATS LIVE ON UR BUILDING'S ROOF
There are practically 68,472,517,858,664 feral cats in uptown and theyre always living their best life, love them all. They mostly live on my roof and scream and fight and its so fun to watch like a pride of lions, here's a li'l fella just chilling on the roof
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@uptownloser
1d ago
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πŸ˜ƒ
YOUR COMMUNITY IS ALWAYS THERE, JUST GO AND TALK TO THEM
In the 6 million degree of uptown as I skulked the streets trying to stay cool, I stumbled upon this popped hydrant. Like wild animals we could all smell the water from miles away and gathered to watch in awe the water cascading, jumping into the plumes as a reprieve from the heat. No one knew who popped the hydrant but we all knew we needed it. And we stood around as a community and enjoyed this refreshing surprise. It was nice for this opportunity to meet my neighborhood and at least agree one thing...its hot as shit
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@uptownloser
1d ago