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I've let the idea that we all need to save till we're dead stop me from msking memories. I couldn't give less of a shit about the money I saved and I wished I could've just been less frugal so as not to stop myself from having more life to live. What's the point of saving money and time if you dont even spend either properly? Money is literally just a concept most of which exist in 1s and 0s, we cant even hold the thing that gives our lives value to society anymore, who cares. I'll live first pay later. I'll die in debt rather than living to avoid it.

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I hate when I receive a monetary gift for South Indian new year and then I use it and then I want to kill myself because I used it (on things I dont even regret) but now its gone and I cant make more money because no one will hire me and the anger turns existential because what do you mean...? why do I want myself to feel so evil and terrible for not saving this money.
Apr 29, 2025
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It will always find its way back to you and the memories you create mean so much more than seeing big number in account
Mar 26, 2024
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I love making money, saving money and most importantly spending it. I imagine butterflies made of $100 bills flying all around me and landing on me as I fall asleep every night.

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I have made an effort to return to using the internet like I did when I was a kid: strictly using the computer for social media, youtube, and games. My phone is purely used for music and reading or art. I have gone from a 9 hour average of rotting on social media, to a 3 hour average of reading and listening to music per day. I didn't always have such a long screentime but since summer started I realized I was really wasting my life on my phone instead of enjoying summer. Even though social situations drain me, I have encouraged myself to go out more often and take the opprotunity to socialize. Now, it's not like this has solved all my problems, but the best thigns that have from it were being able to focus on new ways to bust boredom, like playing my dads bass and the piano a little bit. I also spent more time actualyl playing games with my friends too, which isnt productive really, but isnt something I regret either. Really the main thing this achived wasn't making me more productive or happier, but allowing me to focus on things I like and making me slightly more creative. It's just a better opprotunity to spend my time more wisely and avoid regret.